When I Was A Child
by Sarah's Crack
Summary: Companion piece to Trial By Furry. Nothing stays the same forever. Logan and Veronica's daughter finds out just how true this is. CHAPTER FOUR NOW UP. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: When I Was A Child (1/4)  
**Author**: Sarah :)  
**Pairing/Characters**: Logan/Veronica, Dick  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Through 2x01, _Normal is the Watchword_, just to be safe, but nothing specific. This is futurefic!  
**Word Count**: 5086  
**Summary**: Nothing stays the same forever. Logan and Veronica's daughter finds out just how true this is.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Duh.  
**Thanks**: First of all, big thanks to **truemyth** for somehow helping me set up a WIP, even though I've never, ever even considered writing one, and for all of the hand-holding. It's much appreciated, Grace :). To **truemyth** and **kantayra**, for pretty much the best series of AIM chats EVER on brainstorming ideas for poor little innocent Mandy. They were instrumental in developing properly dirty story lines, as I can't even PRETEND to keep up with them :). Also, thank you **herowlness** and **truemyth** for betaing this! And listening to me go on and on and on about it ad nauseam. You guys WIN!  
**Final notes**: Written for the **loveathons** epic challenge. Companion piece to Trial by Furry, so it might help if you read that first :). Part of the _Babes In Toyland_ series.

_I spoke as a child.  
I Cor. xiii. 11. _

"I can't do it, Logan." Veronica draped her coat across the couch. "I'm not going to leave her here with him. That's just...cruel."

"He'll be fine, Veronica."

"I meant to Mandy."

"Veronica," Logan pleaded, exasperated with his wife. "We haven't had a night out together in months. It's our anniversary." He ran his hand down her bare arm, eliciting a shiver from her. "I want tonight to be special," he pleaded, his voice husky.

"I know, Logan." She smiled at him, moving to smooth down the front of his suit, her hands wandering over the planes of his chest. "But even if we stay here with Mandy watching movies and eating pizza, it'd be just as nice. I just want to be with _you_."

Logan tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear and sighed. "And believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do. It's just - we don't have much time alone together. Without any interr– "

"MOMMY!" A blonde ball of energy hurtled herself at Veronica. "Don't leave! I don't wanna have a babysitter." Mandy's lower lip trembled. "I miss Grandpa."

"Sweetie," Veronica placated her daughter while attempting to pry her hands from the hem of her dress. "Grandpa wanted to be here, but his flight was delayed. He promised to come and see you as soon as he gets back tomorrow." Lifting Mandy up, she turned to Logan. "What about tomorrow night? Dad'll be back, and Mandy can stay the night with him like we planned."

The girl's eyes lit up. "Will he bring presents? I want presents!" Logan and Veronica shared a smile over her head, shaking their heads.

"I'm sure he won't forget his favorite granddaughter. But remember, you – "

"...shouldn't s'pect to get a present every time." A mischievous grin crossed Mandy's face. "But I do. Because I," she pointed to herself, "am his favoritest."

Veronica laughed. "I'm sure that the lesson was in there somewhere. It's settled, then. We'll just postpone until tomorrow."

"But Veronica," Logan pouted. "Our anniversary is _today_."

She rolled her eyes. "It's a technicality, Logan. Tomorrow's just as good. Besides, if _he's_ coming over to babysit, we're not spending the night anywhere other than right here." She sighed wistfully. "You'll have to cancel the reservations. The new Italian place will still be there tomorrow." Veronica twined her fingers around his, staring at their clasped hands rather than his face. "And I can't imagine that the honeymoon suite at the Sunset Regent will be booked. We'll just wait."

Mandy smiled brightly. "I wanna eat 'talian food! It's the yummiest! Mommy, you and Daddy could share pasghetti! The doggies did that in _Lady and the Tramp_, and it was silly."

"See?" Veronica winked at him. "If we postpone for a day, not _only_ do you get all the spaghetti you can eat, but we can traumatize all the restaurant patrons with our Disney impression."

Logan's eyes darkened. "You're saying if we go out tomorrow, your Dad is _definitely_ taking her for the night?"

"Yep."

"And if we go out tonight, we're _definitely_ coming back here?"

"Uh-huh."

"What about Wallace?"

"He already has his hands full with the twins."

"Mac?"

"In Seattle for the week."

"Is there anyone from work you can ask to come over?"

"I work with _you_, Logan."

"What about Cliff? Amanda's still talking about how much fun she had when he watched her...and I'm getting sick of playing court because 'it's not the way Uncle Cliff plays it.'"

Veronica laughed. "He wouldn't say why, but I think she scared him off. He told me that he had to wash his hair."

"Why don't we know more people?"

"Because you're strange and off-putting?"

Logan snorted and shook his head. "Fine. We'll celebrate _properly_ tomorrow. But I'm still taking you out to dinner now." He wrapped his arms around Veronica's waist and pulled her closer, effectively trapping their daughter between them. "You deserve _something_ for putting up with me all of these years."

Mandy clapped. "More presents! You should get Mommy a po – "

"No." Logan scowled. "You're not going to make me feel guilty about that one again, honey. Besides, we got you a pony. Or...close enough. Why don't you go get her?"

The girl nodded excitedly and wriggled out of Veronica's arms, running as fast as she could to retrieve something from her bedroom.

"Wow. Seven years." Veronica rested her head on his shoulder. "Has it really been that long?"

"Longer," he breathed, leaning down to kiss her. "If you add in all the time we dated. After you subtract the break-ups."

"Mmm. Right." She turned around in his arms as her head lolled back. Her hands began inching towards his belt, ignoring Logan's sharp intake of breath. "And here we are, with successful careers, and a beautiful little girl, and..."

"And we're happy." Logan's fingers ghosted down the side of her face as he began placing small kisses along the length of her exposed collarbone. "I never thought that I could have this. I don't deserve to be this lucky, Veronica. I mean, I'm running with it, but…every single morning when I wake up with you, I think that there's no way that I can be any happier. Then every single day, you and Mandy go and prove me wrong."

Her light laughter belaying the emotion in her eyes, Veronica cupped his face in her hands and shook her head. "I love you, Logan. And I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to get along with. But you do, every day, and I never thought..." She shook her head in disbelief. "After we broke up the first time, I was convinced we were a train wreck waiting to happen. Now...God, you don't know how glad I am that I was wrong."

Logan quirked an eyebrow, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "I'm going to remember this the next time we fight."

Veronica snorted and punched him lightly on the arm. "It won't help, because I'll be right."

He sighed. "Somehow, I believe that." The two of them shared a tender kiss, which was quickly interrupted by the sound of pounding footsteps and an impatient cough.

"Look!" Mandy held up her prize proudly, displaying the white stuffed unicorn for her parents to see.

"She's beautiful, honey. Are you two going to have fun tonight?"

Mandy nodded enthusiastically. "But not as much fun as you. Why can't I go?" Tears pooled in her brown eyes. "Don't you love me any more? I'll be really, really good. And quiet! I just wanna eat a meatball like the doggies did."

"Amanda," Logan and Veronica started at the same time. "You know we love you more than anything," Veronica continued, placing a hand on top of her daughter's head. "Sometimes, though, Mommies and Daddies need to...talk about things. Just the two of them."

"Oh." Mandy's lip trembled. "Like you do at night really loud when I'm 'posed to be sleeping? 'Cause it's grown-up stuff I'm not 'posed to hear?"

Veronica blanched. "Something like that. I know," she replied brightly, changing the subject. "Why don't you go and put your jammies on? You can wear them early tonight."

"Really?" Amanda squealed excitedly. "Yay!" As she ran off, Veronica turned to Logan, who barely suppressed a grin.

"Not. A. Word."

Holding his hands up to proclaim his innocence, Logan leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. Grasping Veronica's shoulders, Logan nudged her backwards until he had her pinned against the wall. With a wicked smile, he dropped to his knees, and Veronica's hands clutched his hair tightly. Logan had her panties halfway down her legs when someone knocked on the door.

"Fuck."

--

Mandy, now wearing pajamas and dragging her stuffed unicorn behind her, bounded into the room. "All done, Mommy!"

Dick smiled at the sight of the little girl's pajamas, which were pink with tiny unicorns dotting the fabric, all the way down to the feet. "Sexy PJ's, mini-Ronnie."

She grinned. "They're my _favorite_. And – "

"Dick! She's five years old!" Veronica advanced towards him, held back by only Logan's arm around her waist.

Logan frowned at his friend. "Seriously, Dick. Are you sure you're cut out for this? Because we can postpone..."

"No, no," Dick waved him off. "It's fine. You two go out and party the night away. Mandy and I will make our own fun."

"_That's_ what I'm afraid of," Veronica muttered under her breath.

Logan, from his position behind Veronica, tightened his embrace and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Maybe you were right," he whispered in Veronica's ear. She bent her head back to look up at him, rolling her eyes.

"Told you I would be."

Faces falling, they turned towards the living room...to find Dick and Mandy engaged in a heated game of Connect Four. Their daughter's laughter carried throughout the room and into the front hallway.

"Should we tell him to go home?" Logan's brow creased. "Because..."

"No," Veronica answered firmly. "If we keep doing this, we'll never go anywhere. Dick?"

He turned away from the game. "Yeah?"

"You have both of our cell phone numbers. If you can't reach us on those, the number for the restaurant is on the fridge."

"I know."

"Make sure you call us if you need _anything_."

"And," Logan broke in, "Amanda's getting over a cold. If she starts coughing, give her some – "

"Cough medicine. Got it, dude."

"Make sure it's – "

"The purple kind, because she hates the cherry stuff."

Logan frowned. "Right. And it's – "

"In the medicine cabinet, top shelf. Near the Band-Aids. I've got it under control, guys. Get out of here, okay?"

Veronica finally smiled, her worry dissipating.

"If she gets hungry, she can have a snack before bedtime. And... thanks again, Dick."

"No prob, Ron."

"Be good."

"I will!" Mandy scrambled off of the floor and bounced up and down in front of Veronica.

"I was talking to Dick, sweetie."

Logan snickered as Veronica leaned down to kiss Mandy good-bye. Logan followed suit.

"Bye, guys." Logan waved as he opened the door for Veronica.

"Logan? Veronica?" Dick called after them. "Happy anniversary."

--

"Can we play now, Mr. Casablancas?"

"Mandy." Dick looked at her sternly. "What did I tell you about calling me that?"

"It makes you feel old?" She looked at Dick, confused.

"Right. So just call me Dick, okay?"

"'Kay, Mr. Dick!"

"Just Dick, Mandy."

"Dick!" Mandy paused for a moment, a question on her tongue, before she shrugged it off and giggled. "Let's go play!" She picked her unicorn up off of the floor. "Come on!"

Dick shook his head at the girl's enthusiasm and took a sip from his can of soda. "And I thought Tina had a one-track mind." His eyes passed over the girl. "Hey. That's a sweet unicorn you've got there."

"She's Horny," Mandy informed him seriously.

Dick spit out his soda.

"Ewww!" She shrieked and scrambled off of the couch. "You hafta clean that up, or I'm telling!"

"No, I will." Dick grabbed a few napkins and wiped up the scattered droplets. "But...what did you just say? About your unicorn? Because it sounded like you just said she was – "

"Horny!" Mandy crowed gleefully, clutching the animal tightly to her chest. "And she's the bestest unicorn ever. Everyone else wants to be Horny when we play, but I don't let them. I'm _always_ Horny. Being Horny is the most fun ever!" She jumped up and down in place a few times. "One time, Mommy said that to Daddy, and they started kissing lots, but then they stopped, and I went in and told her that she has to ask if she wants to be Horny, 'cause Horny is mine. She spit soda out just like you!"

"Right. Sooo..." Unadulterated amusement was plastered on Dick's face. "You _named_ your unicorn Horny. Gotcha. And your parents let you?"

Mandy frowned. "They wanted me to name her something boring, but I said she had to be Horny. 'Cause she has a horn! That's why she's a unicorn and not a pony! I learned that from Mommy."

"Makes sense to me." Dick finished wiping up the table and turned back to the five-year old. "Want to play a game or something? I'll even let you win."

She shook her head. "I don't wanna play a game."

"Okay. What _do_ you want to play?"

Mandy exited the room and returned a few moments later with a plastic case. "Toys!" As she set the bin down, Dick began rifling through its contents.

"Dude. Ninja Turtles. An excellent choice, if I do say so myself. What do you say we get that snack, and then we'll get our turtle on?"

"Yay!" Mandy clapped happily. "You're just as fun as Uncle Cliff, Dick."

Dick smiled and ushered the girl into the kitchen. "Let's see what you have to eat around this place."

--

Barely able to juggle the bottles, Amanda pulled away from the fridge triumphantly. "I have my snack!"

Dick relieved her of the items and set them down on the counter. "Whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Sundaes. Good call." He opened the freezer and began to peruse its contents. "What kind of ice cream do you want?"

"Ice cream?" She frowned. "I don't want any ice cream. I want this." She pointed to the toppings on the counter."

"Yeah, but Mandy, come on. You totally need ice cream to make it count as dessert."

"Uh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Uh-uh."

"Yuh – this is stupid." Dick scowled, looking down at her. "I'm like, your superior or whatever. You have to listen to me, because I'm always right, and you're not."

Mandy shook her head disapprovingly. "Whipped cream and chocolate are too dessert."

"Who taught you _that_?" Dick asked, pulling a half-gallon of vanilla ice cream out of the freezer.

"Mommy and Daddy! And they know everything. Duh."

"They eat whipped cream? Without ice cream? I know your parents, and, yeah, your mom's a little freaky, but..."

Mandy nodded vigorously. "On Mommy's birthday, Daddy said she could have whatever she wanted in the whole wide world for dessert. I played with my dollies and got tucked in and was 'posed to be in bed, but Horny needed a drink, so I went to find Daddy, 'cause he always gets her water and sings her a goodnight song." Dick snorted, but she continued. "In the kitchen, I saw Mommy get the whipped cream and chocolate from the 'frigerator, and she told Daddy that that was her most favoritest dessert ever, and she had a big ap'tite. And then they went upstairs, but they forgot a bowl, so I went up to tell them not to spill, 'cause I get in trouble when I eat in bed. The door was closed and Mommy was yelling and it was really loud and I think they were jumping on the bed, 'cause it was all squeaky."

Dick chuckled, but stopped when Mandy stuck her tongue out at him. "And?"

"I was gonna make them stop, because Daddy always tells me I could get hurt if I jump on my bed, but it was Mommy's _birthday_, so I think that's why Daddy let her. And then I heard Daddy say that his dessert tasted good, and Mommy said she wanted some, cause it was her birthday present, which wasn't true, 'cause I drew her a picture of a purple el'phant with a flower behind its ear, and it was pretty, and she put it on the 'frigerator, and then Daddy started yelling lots, but I was sleepy, so I took Horny back to bed, even though she was thirsty." She tilted her head to the side. "I was right, and they made a mess, 'cause in the morning, Daddy said that Mommy should frame the covers, and I saw, and there was chocolate all over, and I asked him if it was yummy, and he said it was the bestest dessert ever. Then he kissed Mommy and it was icky." The little girl exhaled deeply after telling her story, looking up at Dick with wide eyes. "If Mommy and Daddy eat it without ice cream, I want it without ice cream."

Dick let out a low whistle. "Whoa. That's kinky shit."

"You said a bad word!" Mandy's jaw dropped. "I'm telling! Swearing is bad!"

"Shit. I forgot you're like, five."

"You did it again!" She started to sniffle, tears gathering in her eyes. "You're bad! Go away! I want Mommy and Daddy!"

"No, no." Dick pleaded, trying to calm her. "Don't cry. I didn't mean to say it. It just kind of...slips out sometimes. I don't have the ol' ball and chain around any more to tell me not to."

"What's a ball and chain?" Mandy looked at Dick warily.

He snorted. "My wife. When I had one."

"Tina's mommy?"

"Susan. Yeah, that'd be her."

"Why's she a ball and chain? I like balls. Mommy does too, cause she said so to Daddy once, and he coughed and said they had to go do work. Then they worked for the rest of the day! Baseballs are my favorite, and Grandpa and I play together lots, and it's fun."

Dick sighed. "Wait'll you learn some more about life, kiddo. She dragged me down. I got married, and all of a sudden, I couldn't do anything _I_ wanted to do anymore. It was all 'No, Dick, your Superbowl party will wake the baby,' and 'You can't go out because I have a meeting, and the laundry needs to be done' and all that. Like, being married totally cramped my sweet bachelor style. You follow?"

Mandy nodded and patted Dick's hand comfortingly. "Does it make you sad when Tina's with her Mommy, and you can't see her?"

Dick thought for a long moment, staring intently at the five-year old. "Yeah," he said finally. "It does. I mean, I may not be the best father in the world, but she's my daughter, and I love her, you know? Every other weekend is a long time to wait. You've got a good thing going on, kid. Your parents are two of the best."

She smiled. "I know. I love them _this_ much," she proclaimed, extending her arms as far apart as she could. "I would love them more, but my arms are short. Daddy said that that's Mommy's fault, 'cause she's little, and if I'm short I can blame her. Then Mommy said that Daddy should shut up, because she would cut him off if he made any more short jokes. I think she was kidding, though, 'cause cutting people is bad, and Mommy's not bad. I would be sad if she cut Daddy off!" A horrified expression crossed her face.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure your dad would be even more sad. Trust me on this one."

She shrugged. "Okay! Except I don't know if I should trust you, 'cause you still said bad words, and Mommy and Daddy will be mad. I'm not 'posed to hear them, even though I heard them on a movie once, and sometimes at night, Mommy and Daddy say them really loud when I'm 'posed to be in bed. Why do they do that?"

Dick sighed. "You'd better ask them about that. And what'll it take to get you to not tell them? Money?"

"Money?" Mandy scrunched her face up her face in disgust. "Ewww. Money doesn't taste good. And Mommy and Daddy yell at me when I eat it."

Dick shot her an approving glance. "You're pretty bad ass, kid. So if you don't want money, what do you want?"

Totally disregarding his word choice, Mandy's eyes lit up. "Candy!" She shrieked, clapping her hands together. "Lots and lots of candy!"

"Candy. I can do candy." Dick nodded. "Sweet choice. I don't have any candy here with me, though. You take a rain check?"

"I like it when it rains, but I'm not 'lowed to splash in puddles, 'cause then my feet get wet, and Daddy says I can get sick."

He snorted. "Dude. Logan's such a pussy."

"Mommy has one of those!" Mandy cried excitedly. "I heard Daddy talk about it. But I think it must have run away, 'cause we don't have a kitty." She frowned. "I like kitties. Do you like kitties, Dick?"

Dick ran a hand down over his face. "You don't even know what you're setting me up for, kid. But I'll bring you some candy next time I come over. Deal?"

"But I want it _now_!"

"I don't have any now!"

"Duh!" She pointed to the cupboards over the sink. "The candy's in there. Mommy and Daddy put it there so I can't get it." Her face fell. "That's mean, 'cause I like candy lots."

"See, now we're in business. This? I can do." Dick clapped a hand on her shoulder before stepping across the kitchen. True to Mandy's word, he pulled out a large bowl filled with candy. "What are you in the mood for?"

"EVERYTHING!" Mandy jumped up and intercepted the bowl, running into the living room with her catch. When Dick walked in moments later, there were candy wrappers strewn all around, and her face was smeared with chocolate.

"Your parents are going to kill me, aren't they?"

Knocking back three Pixie Sticks at once, Mandy zipped around the room a few times. Dick could only stare in dismay as the sugar seemed to take effect before his very eyes.

"Candycandycandycandycandy!" She giggled. "You're my favoritest babysitter, Dick!"

"Yeah. Like, what, that lawyer guy is my biggest competition?"

Bouncing up and down, and almost literally off of the walls, Mandy stopped herself in front of Dick. "Toys!"

Glancing at his watch, Dick sighed. "You should be in bed now, but I'm pretty sure that's not happening. So..." Mandy held her breath, her hands resting over her mouth in nervous anticipation. "...you can stay up."

"Yay!" The little girl cheered. "This is the bestest day ever!"

"But first you have to brush your teeth."

She pouted. "Why? That's stupid. Toothpaste tastes yucky."

"Because your parents are already going to grill me for getting you all sugared up and hyper. I'm not going to let them blame me for giving you cavities, too. Upstairs." He ushered the pouting figure towards the stairs, shaking his head in amusement.

--

Setting up the last of the toys, Dick turned to Mandy. "Ready?"

She nodded excitedly. "This is going to be the funnest game _ever_, Dick!"

Selecting a Ninja Turtle from the lineup of toys, Dick thrust the little plastic fist forward and motioned for Mandy to do the same. The two bumped the fists of their turtles very seriously. Dick grunted his approval. "Turtle power!"

"Turtle power!" Mandy echoed, smiling happily.

--

Two hours later, the living room looked like a hurricane had swept through it. Dolls and action figures littered every available surface. Mandy, much more subdued than she was earlier, lightly pelted Dick with a Barbie doll.

"I win!"

"You can't _win_, Mandy," he replied, glaring. "Ridding the world of evil is its own reward. And, really – "

The sound of a door slamming cut him off mid-sentence.

"Jesus Christ, Veronica," Logan gasped as the two tumbled into the living room. He was carrying her awkwardly, her legs wrapped around his waist, and one of her hands was down the front of his slacks.

"Mmm, Mr. Echolls, how exactly did you learn how to do that?" Veronica breathed, as his tongue worked his way down her neck to the spot that drove her wild, and she groaned in ecstasy.

"Lots and lots of practice. God, I'm horny."

A small voice brought them back to their surroundings.

"No, Daddy, you can't be Horny. She's _mine_, and you have to ask if you want to play with my unicorn!" Mandy shifted in her spot on the floor, staring wide-eyed at her parents.

Veronica withdrew her hand immediately, and Logan pulled the bottom of her dress back down the best he could with his hands full of his wife.

"Mandy?" he asked, his voice choked. "What are you still doing up?" Looking over to Dick, he glared. "You should have been in bed hours ago, sweetie."

"Dick said we could play!" Mandy held up her doll as an example. "Daddy, you should go to bed if you're tired."

Logan looked bewildered. Veronica hid her head in his chest. "What?"

"Mommy always takes my clothes off and helps me put my jammies on when I'm sleepy. Isn't that what she's doing?" Mandy looked at Logan's unbuttoned dress shirt, and her eyes traveled to where his tie rested on the floor. "That's 'posed to go in the laundry basket, Daddy. Duh."

Groaning, Veronica closed her eyes and removed her legs from Logan's waist. He set her down gently, and the two of them stared at each other heatedly. Sensing their desperation, Dick jumped up.

"Hey, yeah. You two must be exhausted. Mandy and I were just cleaning up down here...it took longer than we thought. I'll tuck her in. You guys go on and...get ready for...bed. And sleeping. Which is what you'll totally do in bed." He winked at the pair.

Veronica and Logan took in the multitude of toys around the room, and the shining smile on their daughter's face. Shaking her head, unable to rouse any anger, Veronica spoke. "Is that okay, honey? Daddy and I will come in to see you in a little while, all right?"

"'Kay!" Mandy answered, gathering an armful of toys and dumping it into her toy bin.

Looking upwards in relief, Logan picked up Veronica and threw her over his shoulder, shooting off a quick "night," to Dick and Mandy. Veronica squealed, and Logan moved to the stairs, taking them two at a time until the jarring sound of their bedroom door being closed broke the silence.

Dick laughed loudly.

"Is the house on fire?" Mandy asked, her voice trembling.

"What? No. Of course it isn't. Why would you even ask that?" Dick looked at the little girl. "Thinking of playing pyro tonight? Have you been watching _X-Men_ lately?"

Tears gathered in Mandy's worried brown eyes. "Daddy was carrying Mommy over his shoulder. Last time he did that and I asked what he was doing, he said it was a...a..." She screwed up her face in thought. "A fireman's carry. And that he had to put out a really big fire. And then Mommy laughed and they went up stairs and made funny noises. But Daddy stopped the fire, 'cause we were all okay. Is he gonna stop it now?" She looked up at Dick imploringly. "I don't want Mommy and Daddy to get hurt!" Her hands balled up as she wiped away tears.

"Hey, come on." In a surprising show of tenderness, Dick scooped the five year old into his arms and brushed her hair out of her face. "Don't cry. I'm pretty sure your dad was speaking metaphorically, or whatever. The only fire that's getting hosed tonight is in your mom's –"

_"YES, Logan! Harder!"_ Veronica's wails wafted down the stairs. Dick perked up. "See? Nothing to worry about. Logan's got everything under control." He paused for a moment, nodding approvingly at the muted noises he could hear coming from upstairs, letting out a low whistle. "So you're saying that your parents are _always_ like this? Damn."

"Like what?" Mandy burrowed her head into Dick's shoulder and yawned, her sugar high finally exhausted, too tired to notice that she could probably weasel more candy out of him.

"Humping like bunnies? Doing the horizontal mambo? Getting jiggy with it?"

"I like bunnies," Mandy murmured sleepily, clutching her toy unicorn tightly.

Dick sighed. Any exposition on Logan and Veronica's sex life would have to wait until their daughter was more alert. Damn it.

"Bunnies _are_ pretty cool. What do you say we get you into bed? I'll tuck you in, and your mom and dad said they'd be in to kiss you goodnight once they're...dressed...for bed."

" 'Kay."

Planting a light kiss on her forehead, Dick started towards the stairs, careful not to jostle the almost-sleeping child.

--

The following weeks passed by in a blur, and before anyone realized, it was time for another momentous event in the Echolls' household.

Mandy's sixth birthday party.

Logan and Mandy sat in the living room, a pile of pink invitations resting on the (new) coffee table in front of them.

"Daddy, write faster! I wanna help!" Mandy stood on the couch and peered over his shoulder, examining his work. "Your hearts look all funny," she scolded.

He sighed and lifted the invitation, turning it slightly. "See, if you look at it that way, the heart is straight."

"Daddy! They have to be _perfect_. I'm gonna be six." She proudly held up six fingers directly in front of his face.

Logan squinted at her. "I have an idea. Why don't _you_ draw the hearts?"

Mandy shook her head and held up a sheet of stickers. "I hafta put the stickers on! And draw the smiley faces!" She waved a completed invitation in his face, and he couldn't help but smile at the childish pencil scrawls that adorned the envelope. "And lick them!" She stuck out her tongue to illustrate her point. "'Sides," she continued. "My hearts look funny, too."

"Hmm. Maybe it's genetic," Logan pondered. "I guess you take after me, kid."

"Mommy!" Mandy squealed. "Where's Mommy? She makes hearts the prettiest."

Logan pulled his daughter into his lap as she began dancing across the couch. "She had to take an important phone call, but she should be done by now. Veronica?" His shout rang through the house. "You've been summoned for invitation duty. I think I'm being replaced."

He frowned when there was no response. Settling Mandy in on the couch, Logan stood up just as Veronica entered the living room. She looked absolutely shaken. Tears welled in her eyes, and Logan watched as she raised a trembling hand to her forehead. He was at her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her waist, clutching her as if his life depended on it.

"Veronica? What is it? What's wrong?" He couldn't keep the fear out of his voice as looked down at his still-as-of-yet unresponsive wife. Taking a deep breath, she glanced up at him with watery eyes.

"Logan. We have to talk. Now."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: When I Was A Child (2/4)  
**Author**: Sarah :)  
**Pairing/Characters**: Logan/Veronica, Keith, Dick, Cliff, Wallace, Mac  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Through 2x01, _Normal is the Watchword_, just to be safe, but nothing specific. This is futurefic!  
**Word Count**: 10,715 (!)  
**Summary**: Nothing stays the same forever. Logan and Veronica's daughter Mandy finds out just how true this is.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Duh.  
**Thanks**: First of all, to **truemyth** for somehow helping me set up a WIP, even though I've never, ever even considered writing one, and for all of the handholding. It's much appreciated, Grace :). To **truemyth** and **kantayra**, for pretty much the best series of AIM chats EVER on brainstorming ideas for poor little innocent Mandy. They were instrumental in developing properly dirty story lines, as I can't even PRETEND to keep up with them :). Also, thank you **herowlness**, **kantayra**, and **truemyth** for betaing this! And Grace is totally responsible for finding the cute scene break, so awwww with me :). I know this was long, but all of you still rush betaed for me, and I appreciate it, guys. THAT IS LOVE!  
**Final notes**: Written for the **loveathons** epic challenge. Companion piece to Trial by Furry, so it might help if you read that first :). And I really need to take the time to thank everyone who read and let me know what they thought about the first chapter. I'm still pretty floored by the response, and it definitely helped me (a LOT) when I was working on this. You guys are the best, and I sincerely thank you :).

_I understood as a child.  
I Cor. xiii. 11. _

"Mommy! Daddy! Where arrrrrre you?" Mandy's small voice rang throughout the house. Veronica groaned and pulled a pillow over her head.

"What time is it?" Logan grunted beside her, bleary eyes trying to focus on the clock.

"Five. In the morning." Veronica sighed. "I told you we should have let her stay up all night. Then? She'd still be sleeping."

Pulling his wife closer to him, Logan closed his eyes again. "Maybe if we pretend we're still asleep, she won't bother us. For a few minutes."

Veronica snorted in disbelief.

Footsteps, accompanied by the distinctive 'swish' that can only be caused by the plastic feet of a pair of footie pajamas, halted right outside of the bedroom door.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Mandy pushed the door open gingerly. Seeing her parents in bed, their eyes closed, a delighted grin overtook her face. "WAKE UP!" She screamed, diving for the middle of the bed. Logan took the brunt of the tiny body, cracking an eye open and frowning at his laughing spouse.

"It's too early, sweetie," Logan started. "Mommy and Daddy just need a little more sleep."

"BUT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" She shouted, wriggling out of Logan's arms and jumping up and down on the bed. "Get up, get up, get up! We have to get ready for my party! It's going to be the bestest _ever_." Eyes widening, her lip trembling, Mandy stopped bouncing and looked at her parents. "Isn't it?"

Exchanging a guilty look, Logan and Veronica shook their heads at their daughter's ability to manipulate them.

"Your party's going to be _perfect_, honey." Veronica assured. "Just let us get dressed, and then we'll start setting it up."

"Yay!" Mandy collapsed onto the bed and crawled up between Logan and Veronica. She began to pull back the covers, but Veronica clutched the sheet tightly to her neck.

"I wanna cuddle with you," Mandy pouted. "It's my birthday!"

Logan choked back a laugh, and Veronica turned to him, horrified. He sat up in bed, making sure the sheet covered him from the waist down, and opened his arms for his daughter. She scrambled into them quickly, curling into his embrace.

"Now, Mandy. What's the most important thing we do every year on your birthday?" He looked his daughter straight in the eye.

"Presents!" she shrieked.

"No..." Veronica started. "Besides presents."

"Cake!" Mandy clapped excitedly.

"Closer...I think." Veronica furrowed her brow. "It's the first thing we do every birthday. Remember?"

Recognition lit in Mandy's eyes. "Measuring!"

Logan smiled at his daughter. "That's right. Why don't you go get ready, and we'll meet you there?"

" 'Kay!"

Logan set Mandy down on the floor and she raced out of the room. Veronica released her crushing hold on the sheet and plopped her head against the pillow, relieved.

"This is your fault, you know."

"Who, me?" Logan held his hands up, the picture of innocence. "It's not my fault sexy women feel the need to get naked around me. You should really learn how to keep your clothes on, Veronica. You're a mother now, and —"

He didn't see the pillow coming as she flung it in his face.

Pulling back the sheet and taking a peek at Logan's nude body, Veronica smirked. "It would seem you have a similar problem."

"Well, yeah." Logan shrugged. "But right now, I have an even _bigger_ problem..." Grinning wickedly, he rolled over until he was on top of Veronica, taking special care to run a hand gently across her stomach.

Laughing, she kissed him, and then pushed him away when he tried to go in for another. "You do realize that if we're not out of here in like ten minutes, she's going to be back, right? I'm pretty sure being the interruptus in our coitus would be marginally more traumatizing than catching us in bed wearing nothing but a sheet."

Logan leaned in and began trailing kisses down the side of her neck. "You said we have ten minutes?" Veronica nodded warily as Logan buried his face in her hair. "Well, then, I think I can work something out..."

Veronica gasped as Logan's hand found his way between her thighs, and they made good use of their time. _Very_ good use.

--

Thirty-five minutes later, a freshly showered Logan and Veronica walked into their daughter's bedroom. Mandy sat on the bed, her arms crossed angrily over her chest, tears swimming in her eyes.

"You forgot about me on my birthday. You hate me!" Her lower lip thrust out in an exaggerated pout.

"Hate you?" Veronica sat down on the bed next to Mandy. Looking to Logan, she tapped a finger against her chin as if in thought. "I don't know. Logan, is there anyone in here that we hate?"

Logan looked from side-to-side in an exaggerated manner. Winking at Mandy, he knelt down and lifted the comforter to look under the bed. Standing, he shrugged. "I don't see anyone. I wonder who Mandy's talking about."

"The only person _I_ see in here is the birthday girl." Veronica smiled at Mandy and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Who we both love very, very much."

Mandy sat silently for a moment, eyes darting between her parents. With a grin, she launched herself into Veronica's lap. "What took you so long, Mommy? I've been waiting here _forever_."

Veronica coughed, and Logan looked down at the floor.

"We had to find a pencil, sweetie," Veronica covered, pulling the writing utensil from the pocket of her jeans. "We can't measure you without one, can we?"

"Nope!" Mandy exclaimed, crawling out of Veronica's lap and off of the bed. Darting to the other side of her room, she stood against the wall, waiting expectantly.

Veronica stood up and moved next to Logan, handing him the pencil. Logan tenderly placed a hand on Mandy's head and, with a great flourish, brought the pencil up and drew a line on the wall where her head rested.

"All done. Let's see what we've got this year." He waited until Mandy moved off of the wall, and let out a low whistle. "I know someone who's going to be taller than Mommy in a few years. Look at how big you're getting, Mandy!" He pointed to the line he just marked, and to another one slightly below it. "That's how much taller you are than last year."

Mandy gaped at the wall. "Daddy! I'm really _really_ big!"

"It must be genetic," Veronica muttered.

"What, Mommy?"

Veronica smiled slyly at Logan. "Daddy's really big, too."

"I know!" Mandy dragged Logan over to the wall, and looked up at where his head rested, far above her line. "Daddy's the biggest _ever_. No one's bigger than Daddy!"

"That's right, honey." Veronica held a hand up to her mouth to hold back her laughter. "Daddy's _huge_."

Logan grinned widely at Veronica and ran his tongue over his lips suggestively.

"Is that good, Daddy?"

"That's _perfect_, honey. Isn't it, Veronica?"

"I have no complaints." Logan's eyes burned into Veronica's, and the two of them began inching towards each other.

"Mommy, I'm almost a grown-up now. Look!" Mandy pointed to the wall again.

Examining the lines more closely, Veronica valiantly attempted to hold back tears. Mandy's face fell.

"What's wrong, Mommy? Today's a happy day! It's my birthday!"

"Oh, I know, sweetie," Veronica answered, eyes glistening. Logan moved over and wrapped an arm tightly around her waist. "It's just that...you're growing up so fast. Look how big you are."

"I know. I'm _six_," Mandy supplied helpfully, holding up the correct number of fingers.

"My baby's going to grow up and leave me," Veronica sniffed, burying her head into Logan's chest. Looking down at his wife, a very concerned Logan ran a soothing hand down her back.

"Hey. Are you okay?" His voice was edged with worry.

Veronica looked up at him and nodded. "I'm just feeling a little...emotional today. I blame it on hormones."

Logan nodded and reached down to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Mommy, it's all right," Mandy assured Veronica, wrapping herself around her mother's leg. "I'm never gonna leave _ever_. Please don't cry!"

"Oh, Mandy. I know. It's not your fault. Mommy's just been a little crazy lately." Veronica lifted Mandy off of the ground and cradled the girl in her arms. "All better now! What do you say we get ready for that party?"

Mandy nodded excitedly. "Party, party, party! Yay! Let's go!" Twisting in Veronica's arms, she reached out and grabbed Logan's hand. "Let's go _now_. It's my birthday!"

Pressing a tender kiss first to Veronica's forehead, and then one on Mandy's, Logan led the way out of the bedroom.

--

"Do you think she'd notice if we just let her sleep through her entire party?" Logan mused, running a hand through the hair of his sleeping daughter.

Veronica laughed, setting a pile of plastic cups on the table set up in the backyard. "Are you kidding? We'd _never_ live it down. I was wondering when waking up at five in the morning was going to catch up with her, though. Can we hope that she actually sleeps at her sleepover?"

Logan shook his head. "I wouldn't count on it. Between Mandy and Tina and the rest of the girls, I have a feeling they'll be up all night."

"Which means we'll be up, too. Or, at least..._you'll_ be up."

"Exactly." Grinning, he pulled his wife into his lap. "I can probably think of a _few_ ways to spend the time."

"Oh, really?" Veronica queried, her face the very picture of innocence. "Hmm. I didn't _think_ you wanted to learn how to knit, but if —" Her words dissolved into giggles as Logan groaned and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

A knock sounding around the side of the house startled them.

"Looks like it's time to get this party started." Veronica reached over and gently shook her daughter awake. "Mandy, honey. Wake up. People are here for your party."

The little girl was up like a shot, a flash of blonde hair as she raced around the house and to the front door. Logan and Veronica looked after her, smiling, Logan not quite ready to relinquish his hold on his wife.

"Grandpa's here!" Mandy shrieked, dragging Keith into the backyard. "And he brought _presents_! For ME! 'Cause it's my birthday!" Keith grinned as Veronica took the gifts from him and set them on a nearby table.

"Hi, Dad," she greeted, wrapping him in a hug. "How's it going? Do you feel old enough to be the grandfather of a six year old?"

Keith shook his head wistfully. "It's hard to believe, isn't it? I can remember the day you brought her home from the hospital like it was yesterday." Logan walked up behind Veronica, nodding to Keith.

"Hey, Pops. Ready to party like the six year olds do? Mandy told me we might even hear some Britney."

The older man rolled his eyes. "Logan. You may be my favorite son-in-law, but _how_ many times have I told you never to call me that?"

"Sorry. I just can't help it, Keith. As your _only_ son-in-law, I felt it was my duty to get it out there." Logan chuckled, not looking guilty in the slightest. Mandy chose that moment to run over to her grandfather and tug on his arm.

"Grandpa, more people are here! Come with me! You can meet _allll_ of my friends. 'Specially Tina, 'cause she's my bestest friend in the whole world, and we play Barbies together, and now you can play, too!" A wide-eyed Keith looked to Veronica, who merely shrugged in response.

"Have fun, Dad." Before he could protest, Veronica turned back to where she was readying the food. "Logan and I have to finish setting up back here before everyone else shows up, so you're on your own for a few minutes."

"Grandpa!" Mandy jumped up and down in front of him. "Hurry up!"

Scooping the girl into his arms, Keith kissed Mandy on the cheek. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

Mandy clapped her hands and giggled delightedly.

"What?" Keith looked puzzled. "What did I say? I just said I was coming."

"You sound like Mommy and Daddy now! They say that all the time, even if they're already with each other. It's silly! Why do they do that, Grandpa?"

Looking decidedly green, Keith pulled a lollipop out of his pants pocket, thankful that his granddaughter was still at the age when she could be distracted by candy.

"Never mind. Let's go see who's here."

" 'Kay!" Mandy agreed, happily shoving the lollipop in her mouth.

--

Logan and Veronica leaned back, watching as their daughter flitted from one person to another, quickly making her way to each of her party guests.

"Should we be worried that she's such a perfect hostess? She's _six_, Logan. _I_ can't even do that."

He laughed, snaking an arm around her waist. "She obviously has some of her charismatic and debonair father in her, then. She's an Echolls — it's in her genes."

Veronica snorted, her eyes sparkling. "We'll have to keep an eye on that one, then."

"Yeah. It's too bad she has that logical Mars half to balance her out."

"We did pretty well, Logan," she breathed, leaning back against him.

"That we did, Veronica. That we did."

Their eyes traveled across their backyard to take in the crowd of party guests. Multiple children from Mandy's kindergarten class were there, laughing and eying the food. Talking to Keith, Cliff, wearing a cardboard party hat and fiddling with the elastic band around his chin, looked decidedly miserable. He was frowning and appeared to be looking for the nearest exit. Mac stood off to one side, waiting as her daughter, Nicole, set a carefully wrapped gift on the designated table. Wallace had his hands full with his three rambunctious boys, who had somehow gotten their hands on a set of water guns and were chasing Mandy and Tina around the party. After arriving with Tina, Dick took a seat at the refreshment table, idly flicking at a red balloon.

Counting out the party guests with a finger, Veronica shook her head, impressed. "With us, and Mandy making everyone stay, we almost have an equal adult-to-kid ratio. We don't have to handle ten five year olds by ourselves!" She and Logan exchanged an enthusiastic high five.

"You've got to love the fact that our friends are the stupid ones. All the other parents left the instant their kid got here. I mean, you couldn't _pay_ me enough to stick around with this many kids."

"Ahh, but, Logan," Veronica admonished. "Once Mandy works that Echolls charm and the patented Mars head tilt —"

"There's no way anyone can say no to her. Smart girl. But, really. How _did_ she convince Cliff to come? I thought he made it pretty clear that he was trying to relinquish his star babysitter status."

Veronica laughed. "I was on the phone with him, and she grabbed it out of my hand and _begged_ him. Even Cliff isn't made out of stone. And, look, he...kind of looks like he's having fun. Maybe." Both of them watched the lawyer for a few minutes, noting that once Keith had moved on, he was standing around, awkwardly dodging the hyperactive preschoolers. "Or, you know. Not."

Logan sighed. "I guess I should go and bail him out for a few minutes, anyway."

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "Why, Logan. Developing a conscience?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Or, you know, if we're ever desperate for a babysitter, and—"

"Go." Veronica forcibly shoved him towards Cliff. With a salute, Logan crossed the lawn and clapped Cliff on the back heartily.

"Veronica?" Keith approached her from behind. "Can we talk for a minute?" He motioned to the patio, away from the festivities, and she nodded and followed him.

--

"So, Veronica," Keith paused awkwardly. "You and Logan have been pretty busy at work lately, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Not really any more busy than usual, though. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if you two have been...home a lot. Spending time with Amanda. The usual."

Veronica smiled and patted her father on the back. "Don't worry, Dad, we're not neglecting our daughter for our careers."

"No — that's not —" Keith fished for the words. "I just think you should spend as much time as you can with her now, while she's young. I mean, you and Logan will have forever together. Amanda's going to grow up and hit that teen phase before you know it, and you two won't be able to pay her to hang around the house."

"Dad, she's not lacking for parental affection. Logan and I can barely get away for ten minutes. I'm sure you remember how demanding having a five year old girl is." She tilted her head and looked at her father pointedly.

Keith nodded fondly, then shook his head and tried to push his point. "Of course. I just remember how..._careful_ your mother and I had to be. You used to hear _everything_. Especially at night. We really had to...adjust."

Veronica shrugged. "Logan and I manage."

"That's—I know. I mean, maybe you two —" Keith looked away from her, flustered.

"Dad, what is it?"

"Do you ever wonder if Amanda knows...that _something_... I mean, you know how curious kids are. I still haven't weaned my _adult_ daughter of that habit."

She snorted. "If you haven't managed it yet, I doubt you'll ever figure it out, Dad. But Amanda's been a lot better at night lately. She doesn't get up as much, which gives Logan and me...time. Time to..." She bit her lip. "...talk and stuff. Of course."

"Of course." Keith looked sick. " Hey, I think Wallace needs help with the punch." He kissed Veronica's forehead. "I'm proud of you and Logan, sweetie. Just...you know, it's not bad to take a break every once and a while."

Before Veronica could ask him what the hell he was talking about, Keith was already halfway across the lawn. She shook her head in confusion as Logan approached her from behind.

"You look far too hot to be the mother of a six year old," Logan proclaimed, peppering kisses down the side of her neck. "Your husband must be a lucky guy."

Preoccupied, Veronica nodded automatically, still staring at her father. "Yeah."

"Veronica?" Logan's brow creased. "What is it? Are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down or something?"

Turning towards her husband, Veronica shoved him playfully in the chest. "I'm fine, Mr. Overprotective. I was just talking to Dad, and he was being all..."

"Weird? I think he and I just had the same conversation. It was like he wanted to tell me something, but he couldn't come right out and say it."

Veronica frowned. "Same with me. It was really strange. I wonder if something happened last night when he was watching Mandy. I mean, he was asking about her."

Logan lowered his head until his forehead rested against Veronica's. "Let's not worry about it now. We have a birthday to celebrate. We'll just have to ask him about it later."

"You're right." Veronica winked at him. "Besides, I do believe there are presents that need to be opened, which means we should probably bring them out."

"Lead the way, then." Logan lifted Veronica up and twirled her in his arms, drawing the stares of a few of the party guests.

"Do you ever feel like everyone is talking about us as soon as we leave?" Veronica questioned Logan. "I know it's probably just me being paranoid, but I swear, we walk out, and there are _whispers_. And these are our _friends_."

He shrugged. "Maybe they have nothing better to do than exposit on our collective hotness."

"Oh." Veronica thought for a moment. "Well, in that case, it's okay." Reaching the house first, she moved to open the door. Before she could grip the handle, Logan was beside her, hand on the door, holding it open for her reverently. Shaking her head, she walked inside.

--

Staring at Veronica and Logan as they entered the house, studiously lowering his head when he saw Logan's hand heading towards his daughter's ass, Keith suppressed a shudder. Cliff, choosing that moment to sit beside him, raised his eyebrows.

"What's up? Not too keen on the...uh...lovebirds?" He shifted nervously. "Not that I _know_ anything about...anything. I was just curious. That's all." He looked everywhere but at Keith. "Really."

Keith's eyebrows rose up comically. "Wait. No, Cliff. Don't tell me - " He grimaced. "You babysat for her, didn't you? The last time I was in Fresno for a case. So you..." He paused. "That explains a _lot_."

"Explains what? Nothing happened. I just...hung out with the kid for a half an hour."

"Right." Keith commented dryly. "I don't suppose Mandy, oh, _opened her mouth_ at all during that time."

"Well, I don't know about Mandy, but there was this one time her _mother_ opened her mouth, and..." Cliff trailed off, half-grinning, half-cringing.

"She did it to you, too."

"Yeah, but...Wait. Too?" Cliff's eyes widened. "You don't mean that she's told you...you've heard..."

"Every sordid detail of my _daughter's_ sex life? Yeah."

"Cute kid," Cliff remarked, patting Keith on the knee. "So...do they know? Veronica and Logan?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't think so. And it's not exactly the easiest subject to broach with your only child. I've been trying for the past few weeks, but...I give up."

"So the best you can hope for now?"

"Well, that Mandy's not permanently traumatized when she grows up. Like I am after years of babysitting." He shuddered. "And that maybe, due to Veronica's current state—"

"They cool down a little?"

"Yeah." Keith shrugged. "Of course, I've been thinking that would happen for the last six years, and if Mandy is to be believed, they're going at it more than ever." Staring towards the house, where Logan and Veronica had just emerged with a bag of gifts, Keith quickly shielded his eyes as he took in Veronica's smudged lipstick and mussed hair, and the fact that her hands were currently moving up and down near Logan's belt.

"Hola, compadres. What's up?" Dick sauntered over to the two men, nodding knowingly. "I was just over here grabbing a soda, and I couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about..."

"We were whispering." Keith's eyes narrowed.

"And where's this alleged soda?" Cliff bit back a smirk.

Dick shrugged. "Fine, I was listening in. Whatever. I was just wondering if you...you know. Heard anything new from Mandy lately. About Logan and Ronnie."

"Heard anything new?" Keith shot up from his chair and struck his best menacing pose in front of Dick. Given the height differential between the two men, it didn't quite have its desired effect. "That's my _daughter_ you're talking about. Why the hell would you care?"

"Well..." Dick trailed off. "Don't forget, I sat for Mandy too, Mr. My-Flight-Was-Conveniently-Delayed-On-Their-Anniversary. I heard some things."

"_No_." Keith looked at Dick, horrified. "She _didn't_."

Dick smiled widely. "She totally did. I mean, I've known Logan my whole life, and I never knew he had such a thing for whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Weird, huh?"

Clamping a hand over Dick's mouth and dragging him further away from the rest of the party guests, Keith motioned for Cliff to follow.

"Whipped cream, huh?" Cliff rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder if that had anything to do with the coffee table."

"Cliff," Keith groaned. "No. Not the coffee table. You know about the coffee table?"

"What about the coffee table?" Dick leaned in towards Cliff excitedly.

"It was destroyed, apparently. Along with a Lego castle. And any vestige of innocence that their little girl might have," Cliff answered.

"Gotcha." Dick paused for a moment. "Cool. Was this before or after that time in their office?"

"Need I remind you that we are _never_ going to have this discussion again? And that we shouldn't be having it now? This is disgusting," Keith fumed, pacing back and forth.

"Dude. Chill." Dick placed a hand on Keith's shoulder, stilling his movement. "Logan and Veronica are totally just expressing their love for each other in a healthy, physical way. It's the trademark of any functioning monogamous relationship. You should be happy for them."

Keith blinked. Cliff stared.

Dick shrugged. "Anyone who watches Oprah would know that. Maybe we should stage an intervention. You know, make them _talk_ to us about their...activities. Because I totally volunteer to do it. Unless _you_ have any more stories for me?"

Cliff eyed Keith warily. "Well..."

"I'll tell you all about Horny, dude. That's a fair trade. Spill." Dick's eyes brightened.

Before Keith could interject, Mandy rushed over and tugged on his hand.

"Grandpa, come on! It's time for presents! Presents, presents, _presents_! Yay!"

Glaring daggers at the two men, Keith followed his granddaughter, studiously avoiding any conversation.

--

Mandy smiled brightly as she grabbed at the crumpled wrapping paper in front of her. She tossed it up in the air, giggling as it drifted down around her.

"So, Mandy," Veronica spoke, surveying the birthday carnage around the little girl. "Did you get everything that you wanted?"

Eying the pile of toys around her, Mandy looked thoughtful. "I got _almost_ everything, Mommy."

"What?" Tina Casablancas piped up. "You got the _best_ toys. Even Fashion Fever Barbie! Let's go play!"

"What else could you have possibly wanted, sweetie?" Logan knelt down next to his daughter while Veronica surreptitiously slipped inside of the house.

"Nothing," Mandy sighed, looking down sadly.

"Amanda." At the use of her full name, Mandy looked up at Logan. "How many times have we told you that we just _can't_ buy you a pony? No matter how much you want one."

"I know," she spoke quietly, her hands crumpling a wad of wrapping paper. Then, brightening up slightly, she smiled. "Maybe Santa will bring one!" Seeing Logan's stern look, her face fell again.

"Well, since we can't get you a pony, we decided on the next best thing." Veronica said as she appeared behind Logan. He reached down and put his hands over Mandy's eyes, then turned her around so she was facing Veronica.

"What is it?" Mandy squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down on the ground.

"Ta da!" Logan moved his hands, and Mandy was greeted with the sight of her mother...holding a tiny, wriggling brown pit bull.

"A DOGGY!" Mandy shrieked, racing for Veronica. "I HAVE A DOGGY! Is he really mine? Can he sleep in my room? What's his name? How old is he? THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" Her questions came out in a rush of breath as Veronica gently handed the animal to her. Mandy hugged the dog tightly to her chest, giggling as a small pink tongue reached out and licked her face.

"He likes me, Mommy! Daddy, look!"

Mandy was quickly surrounded by her friends, as all of the kids wanted a chance to pet the puppy. Standing back and taking in the scene, Logan and Veronica smiled.

"Is this an acceptable replacement for your pony, sweetie?" Logan winked at Veronica.

"Pony? What's a pony?" Mandy asked distractedly, all of her attention focused on her new dog.

Turning towards each other, Veronica and Logan exchanged a handshake. "Nice work, Mrs. Echolls." Logan grinned.

"You didn't do too badly yourself, Mr. Echolls," Veronica returned. Keith walked up to them, shaking his head.

"You bought her a dog? What were you thinking, Veronica?"

"What? Dad," Veronica frowned. "We got Princess Fluffercup when I was three." She shot Logan a look, daring him to say something. "Every little girl should have a dog to call her own." She shrugged. "And I miss having one around the house. What are you worried about? You know how protective pit bulls are. Having him is a _good_ thing."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "I mean, anything that's going to help keep Mandy a little safer is kind of a requirement. Of course, I suggested an alpaca." He glared at Veronica. "I was vetoed, obviously."

"I'm not talking about Mandy. I know she'll be fine — the dog's young, he'll grow up with her and be used to her, just like Princess Fluff — your dog was with you, honey." He shook his head. "I still can't believe you sacrificed the dignity of that Doberman like that. Princess Fluffercup? Do you remember that, Veronica? I tried and tried to convince you that no self-respecting _male_ dog would appreciate being named that. And you..."

"Went right ahead and named him that anyway. Hey!" She raised an eyebrow. "He _liked_ it!"

Keith and Logan looked knowingly at one another.

"Let's just say I think Back-Up was glad when _I_ insisted on naming him. You know how kids are, though. Once they have an idea in their head, there's no way they'll budge. _Especially_ when it involves the name of their dog. Anyway," Keith continued. "About this new dog. I don't think it'll be a problem _now_. I'm talking about in a few months from now. Aren't you worried about having a dog around the house when you bring home the new—" The shrill sound of a cell phone interrupted him, and Keith sighed and pulled it out of his pocket. "I have to take this. We'll talk more about this later, okay?" Veronica nodded as Keith walked around the house for privacy.

"I wonder what he'll think when we tell him about all the research we did about this. How we're totally prepared, and everyone's going to be fine."

Veronica shrugged. "I don't think it matters now, anyway. Look at her. We couldn't take that dog away if we tried. Mandy?" She asked, glancing at her daughter. "Are you ready for cake and ice cream?"

"Cake and ice cream! YAY! I'll share with my doggy!" She clutched the bundle of fur even more tightly to her body. "Yes, please, Mommy!"

"Okay. Daddy and I are going to bring everything out now." Scanning the area, she nodded to Wallace. "Wallace, would you mind staying with her while we go in? The last thing we need is a runaway dog."

"Why would he run away, Mommy? He _loves_ me!"

"I know he does, honey, but this is all still new to him. Until he knows us better, we should be careful."

Mandy nodded.

Glancing towards his sons, who seemed to be participating in some activity that involved cramming gummy worms up their noses, Wallace weighed his options and took a seat beside Mandy.

"Henry! Nathan! David! Don't make me come over there!" Shouting in the general direction of his children, he turned back to Veronica. "I've got it under control, V. Go and get a man some cake."

"On my way." Grabbing Logan's hand, she turned back around to smile at the pair. "Mandy, maybe Wallace will help you think of a name for your doggy. Won't you, Wallace?"

"Sure thing!" He held his hand out, and Mandy giggled as the dog began to sniff it excitedly.

"Okay, we'll be back in a few minutes. Thanks, Wallace." Veronica and Logan turned and walked towards the house.

"I get to name him because I'm his mommy," Mandy told Wallace very seriously. "And I love him lots and lots already. He doesn't really want to run away, does he?" Her expression grew fearful.

"Of course not!" Wallace wrapped an arm around her. "Especially not if I'm here. We've already bonded a little."

"You and my doggy? How?"

"Where do you think your parents _kept_ him for the last week to keep him a surprise? The little guy and I go way back. So, what kind of name are you going for? Traditional? Is he a Fido?"

"I know what his name is!"

"Already?"

Mandy nodded. "Yep," she said, popping the 'p' sound.

"You're your mother's daughter, then. So, spill! What's his name?"

"Gasm!" She announced loudly. "He's Gasm!"

Wallace blanched.

"Gasm? Uh...that's...an interesting name. Where'd you get that from?"

"It was really easy," she admitted. "One time, Mommy and Daddy were talking, and Mommy told Daddy that he gave her the bestest present ever. He asked what it was, and she said he gave her lots o' gasms. I don't know what those are, but I love my puppy _so_ much, and he's my favoritest present!"

"You're naming your dog Gasm. Because..."

"Gasms are the best presents! Mommy said!"

"Right." Wallace looked sick. "Are you _sure_ that's what you want to name him? How about...Spot? Or Melvin?"

Mandy stuck out her tongue. "Eww. Those names are gross. My doggy is Gasm." She set the puppy down in front of her and moved back a few steps. "Come, Gasm! COME!" On command, the dog raced over to Mandy, and she looked at Wallace brightly. "See? He knows his name already! He's the smartest!"

Wallace's head slumped into his hands as he tried to hold back laughter. "You just make sure I'm around when you tell your parents that name, okay? I'm pretty sure that I can't miss that."

"Maybe Daddy will give Mommy another gasm!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, God." Wallace sighed with relief as he saw Veronica approaching with a birthday cake. "Thanks for planting _that_ image in my head."

"Welcome!"

--

"Happy birthday, dear Mandy. Happy birthday to you!" The assembled crowd watched, and then cheered, as Mandy blew out all six candles on her birthday cake in one breath. Grinning wickedly, she stuck a finger out and swiped it down the side of the cake, delighting in licking the chocolate frosting off of her finger.

"You get a freebie, because it's your birthday, but now you have to wait to eat it until it's cut." Veronica's eyes moved over the table searchingly. "Shoot. I forgot a knife. I'll be right back. Dad, you're on cake guard duty."

"We need more plates, too," Logan added hurriedly, his hand clamping over Veronica's. "I'd better go and help her."

As her parents left, Mandy clapped. "Is someone going to jump out of the cake? Daddy always asks Mommy to do it on his birthday. But how could Mommy fit in there?" She eyed the cake curiously. "It's too small!"

A collective groan rang out as Logan and Veronica returned with a stack of plates and the forgotten knife.

"What?" Veronica took in the unpleasant expressions on the adults' faces. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Keith spoke quickly. "Just cut the cake. I call a piece with a flower."

--

"Hey, Mandy," Dick sidled up to the newly six-year old girl. "Happy birthday. What's hangin'?"

"Thanks, Dick!" She smiled, gently setting Gasm down in front of her as he spoke. "Tina got me the dolly I wanted the most, and I love her!"

Dick nodded. "I helped her pick it out, you know."

"Really?" Mandy's eyes grew wide. "Thank you," she whispered, reverently.

"Right. So...uh...Let's talk."

"Okay!" Mandy dropped to the ground, gathering the puppy in her lap. "What do you want to talk about?"

"How about...oh, I don't know...your mom and dad."

Mandy nodded.

Dick waited.

"So, your mom and dad. Tell me something about them."

"Dick," she said, voice confused. "You know Mommy and Daddy lots. You've known them _forever_ and ever. 'Cause you're _old_."

"I know. But...I wanted to know...stuff that you only know about them," Dick covered. "Remember when I was babysitting you, how you told me some pretty sweet stories? Tell me some of those."

Mandy's face was blank. "Um...Mommy and Daddy let me stay up late last night. It was really fun!"

He snorted. "Yeah, great. But what _else_ happened?"

"We ate pizza!" Her face was the picture of innocence, and Dick groaned. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a plastic bag and shoved it at Mandy.

"Here. It's an extra birthday present." He watched as her eyes lit up at the realization that Dick had handed her an unopened bag of Pixie Stix. "Are you _sure_ you don't remember anything else?"

Tearing into the bag, Mandy's head moved back and forth. "Nope. I HAVE CANDY!"

Dick sighed. "We'll continue this next time, okay? I've got to get going. Meeting with the ex over some finance stuff. Wish me luck."

"Good luck!" Mandy chirped.

"Tina?" Dick looked around for his daughter, and she came over to where he and Mandy were standing. "I'm out. Have fun at your sleepover."

"I will! Be good while I'm gone, Daddy."

Dick had the decency to look slightly offended. "Hey! I'm always good!"

Tina rolled her eyes, and Mandy giggled. "Daddy, don't forget your balloon." Tina held out the red balloon Dick had been discreetly dragging around with him during the afternoon. He looked around for a second, making sure no one was watching, and he took hold of the string.

"Thanks, Tina. I'll be here tomorrow morning to pick you up, okay?"

"Okay!" The little girl smiled brightly. "And if you're late 'cause you took too long in the bathroom, it's all right, 'cause Mandy and I can play extra."

Dick scoffed. "That only happened, like, twice. It's not my fault the hair wasn't cooperating!"

"Dick!" Mandy piped up. "If you want more balloons, I can ask Mommy to get you more. She's the bestest blower-upper."

He paused, closing his eyes and looking skyward for a second, hopeful. "Why do you say that, Mandy?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. This morning when we were getting the party ready, Daddy told her that she blows good, and that he wants her to blow for him later. And she said she would, and now I have lots of pretty balloons! Yay!"

Dick pumped his fist in a victory motion. "Yes! Way not to let me down, mini-Mars." He ruffled Mandy's hair and then bent down to give his daughter a hug. "Have fun, guys. Make sure to eat some of those Pixie Stix if you get sleepy. They'll totally help keep the midnight fuel burning. And," he turned to Mandy. "If your parents do anything...cool, make sure you remember it, okay?"

" 'Kay!" Mandy nodded. "Bye, Dick! Thanks for coming to my party. And giving me PRESENTS!"

"Daddy, you're going to be late. And you said after Mommy said you couldn't be on time to save your life, you were going to not be late. So go!" She waved her arms out, giggling. "Shoo!"

"Fine, fine. I'll miss you, Tina."

"I'll miss you too, Daddy! Bye!"

Waving Dick off, the two girls bounced back into the yard. People were beginning to leave the party, and Tina ran over to three other girls that remained, and they began talking excitedly about the sleepover.

Mandy spotted Cliff and Wallace talking with Logan near the patio, and she ran up behind Cliff and wrapped herself around his legs.

"Boo!" She giggled.

"Oh. Hey, Mandy." Cliff glanced at Logan out of the corner of his eye. "I was just going to go and find you so I could say goodbye."

"Same here," Wallace said, looking across the yard at his sons. "We're on our way out."

"Bye?" Mandy turned to Logan, worried. "Why is Cliff leaving? And Henry and Nathan and David? What about my sleepover?"

Logan bit back a laugh. "Mandy, sweetie, Cliff can't spend the night."

"Why not?" Mandy pouted. "It's _my_ party."

"Cliff is...an adult. It's...not..."

"It's not happening. Sorry, Mandy, but if I spent the night at all the house of every girl that asked me, I'd never get home. I have to be fair to everyone, if you get my drift."

"Okay. I guess." Mandy frowned. "But what about everyone else?" She turned to Wallace. "Why are you taking them home?"

"Mandy," Logan interjected sternly. "There is no way that I'm letting any boys sleep over. Even if they _are_ all under the age of eight. It's not happening."

"But _why_, Daddy? You're a boy, and you sleep over with Mommy all of the time! It's not fair!"

"That's different, honey. We're married. When you grow up and marry a boy..." Logan trailed off. "You'll be eighty, so never mind. Besides, how can you do makeovers and talk about the Powerpuff Girls if boys are around? Don't they have cooties or something?"

Mandy's eyes widened. "You're right, Daddy! EWWW!" She jumped away from the group of men and ran over to where her friends were standing. Logan shook his head, amused.

--

"You're sure you don't need any help?" Mac's eyes traveled across the living room, watching the five little girls lay out sleeping bags. "I mean, I can stick around for a while if you need me."

"Thanks, but I think Logan and I have it under control. Until the sugar sets in, at least, but we'll hopefully be asleep by then."

"So, uh, Veronica. When you and Logan go to bed..." Mac smiled tightly. "Do you guys shut your bedroom door? Or is it, um, open?"

Veronica's brow furrowed. "It depends, I guess. Why?" Reading Mac's expression as worry, she clapped her hand on her friend's back. "Don't worry, Mac. We'll take good care of her. Promise."

"No! No." Mac said quickly. "That's not it. I just...if your door is open, and the girls are up...there could be..." Flipping her wrist up and looking at an imaginary watch, she began backing towards the door. "Wow, look at the time. I forgot, I — uh — have something to do. See you tomorrow morning, Veronica."

"Bye, Mac." Veronica watched her leave, shrugging. Coming into the room, Logan watched the door slam behind Mac.

"Mac had somewhere to go?" He asked.

"Yeah. I guess."

Stretched across their sleeping bags, the group of girls huddled in the middle, whispering.

"What should we do now?" Nicole asked. "Cartoons are over, and I don't want to play with dollies any more."

"We could tell ghost stories!" Tina brightened. "I know some really scary ones."

"But Daddy said not to," Mandy added. "And I don't like being scared. It makes me sad."

"I'll hold your hand, I _promise_," Tina pleaded. "Pleeeeease?"

"Yeah!" The other girls chimed in. "Tell one!"

"Fine," Mandy huffed. "Just don't tell one that's _too_ scary."

"Okay!" Tina settled in, lying on her stomach, her chin propped up on her hands. "Once, a family moved into a new house that everyone said was haunted. Every night, ghosts came in and wandered the halls and were all creepy and stuff."

Mandy pulled her sleeping bag up over her head.

"Mandy!" Tina admonished. "It's not even scary yet! Anyway, there were these two boys in the family. On their first night there, they heard noises coming from the upstairs that sounded like people moaning, and it freaked them out. Because it was a ghost!"

Everyone but Mandy gasped. The birthday girl popped out of her sleeping bag and shrugged her shoulders. "So? What's wrong with noises from upstairs? That's not scary."

A low groaning that seemed to be coming from none other than the upstairs sounded. The girls shrieked. "Tina!" One of them whispered, her voice shaking. "That's not funny!"

"It wasn't me!" Tina said, holding her hands in front of her in a show of innocence. "I swear!"

"Duh." Mandy rolled her eyes. "That's just Mommy and Daddy. They do that lots."

"But..._why_?" The terrified little girl asked. "They sound like they're killing each other! Why would they do that?"

Mandy shrugged. "I don't know. 'Cause it's fun! They laugh when they make funny noises sometimes. I think they're playing a game. They never let _me_ play, though, and that's mean. 'Specially now. It's my _birthday_."

Tina nodded. "Maybe that's part of the game they played in the kitchen earlier."

"What game?" Mandy looked up.

"Every time your Daddy passes behind your Mommy, she jumps up, like he's burning her, but she didn't look hurt or anything. She laughed and was all happy, and then they kissed and stuff." Tina shook her head and shuddered. "It was gross. But they looked they were having fun!"

"My Mommy and Daddy have fun together _all_ the time," Mandy confided. "It's 'cause they love each other lots."

"Maybe your Mommy likes getting burned from behind," Tina offered. "You should ask her."

--

Mandy and Tina giggled as they looked at the sleeping girls that surrounded them. "I can't believe they fell asleep so early," Tina whispered. "On TV whenever someone has a sleepover, everyone stays up all night. It's the _rule_."

Mandy nodded seriously. "That's 'cause we're awesome. Do you want pink?"

"Yep! And purple, too." Tina looked over to where Mandy was selecting the different colored threads. "I've never had one before. It's gonna be cool!"

"I know!" Mandy agreed. "Because we're bestest friends!"

"Always!"

The girls set about studiously, taping the lengths of thread to the floor and beginning to twist the floss in their respective patterns. A shuffling on the stairs startled them, and they looked up to find Logan and Veronica coming into the room.

"Just you two in the late night crowd?" Logan asked, eyes panning over the sleeping children.

"Yeah. Everyone else is a wimp!" Mandy proclaimed. " 'Sides, we're really busy."

"What are you doing?" Veronica knelt down to take a closer look at the girl's work in the dark room.

"Makin' friendship bracelets," Mandy said, continuing to work. " 'Cause we're best friends."

"That can't wait until tomorrow? You two should get _some_ sleep." Logan crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at the girls.

Mandy put a hand on her hip and tilted her head, rolling her eyes at Logan. "Daddy. Do you _want_ me to stop braiding? This is important."

Logan looked at her fondly, then laughed and glanced towards Veronica. "Sometimes it's scary how much she sounds like you. Except I think she's going to finish her bracelet."

"Hey, hey, hey," Veronica broke in. "_You_ were the one that was so against it. Not my problem."

"What if I told you I took it back? And I want a friendship bracelet now?"

"Hmm." Veronica looked thoughtful. "I'd say if you went upstairs, I could probably give you something you'd like much better."

"Oh." He moved his hands up and down at his sides, as if weighing his options. "Let the gift giving begin, then." Waving at the two girls, he grabbed Veronica around the waist and moved to the stairs. "Please go to bed at some point, girls. And have fun. Night!"

"Night, Daddy," Mandy said, not looking up from her bracelet. After the adults left, she turned to Tina, all the laughter gone from her face. "Tina, I think something's wrong with my mommy and daddy."

"Really? Like what?" Tina continued braiding her bracelet.

"I don't know." Mandy frowned. "When Daddy and I were making my in'tations pretty for my party, Mommy came in, and then they left and had a _talk_. That's what Daddy told me."

"So?" Tina shrugged. "My parents talk all the time."

"But Mommy and Daddy got all weird after. Now they get really quiet every time I come in the room when they're talking. We used to do _everything_ together, always. Now sometimes, they don't even pay 'tention to me, and it makes me sad. And Mommy doesn't come down to breakfast anymore in the mornings. And she sleeps lots."

"That's weird," Tina agreed. "My mommy and daddy started doing stuff like that, too. They didn't want me to hear what they were saying."

"Why?" Mandy asked, hanging on Tina's words with bated breath. "Why couldn't you hear."

Tina's face fell. "Mandy, let's play Barbies now."

"Tina." Mandy's lip quivered. "What happened? Tell me."

Tina sighed and looked at her friend, sympathetic. "That's when Daddy moved out."

Mandy gasped, tears filling her brown eyes. "What?"

"Don't worry, Mandy!" Tina reassured. "Your mommy and daddy would _never_ get 'vorced. They love each other more than any other mommy and daddy I've ever seen."

"How can you tell?"

"They always smile and laugh and stuff. And they're always together. At the end, all my mom and dad did was yell lots and break things, and your parents don't do that."

Raising a hand to her mouth in shock, Mandy's face crumpled. "One time I went to Grandpa's, and when I came back, the table was broken," she whispered, pointing across the room at its replacement. "We had to get a new one."

"Tables break sometimes," Tina said quickly. "And that's only one thing. My parents broke _everything_."

"My swing set." Mandy's voice was thick with tears. "The day after Daddy put it together, he and Mommy were in the backyard, and it broke. They had to buy me a new one. Why? Why would that happen?"

"I don't know." Tina spoke slowly. "But that's stupid stuff. It's not like your mommy and daddy broke anything _important_. And every time something broke in my house, Mom and Dad said it was an accident, even though I knew they were lying. Then Daddy started sleeping in the other bedroom. He didn't leave until Mommy threw a picture of his brother against the wall, though. There was glass everywhere, and Daddy got really sad, and then he moved out."

A loud crash sounding from upstairs interrupted the conversation. Mandy and Tina held their breath, staring at each other wide-eyed.

"What was that?" Tina whispered after a moment.

"I don't know," Mandy bit her lip. "Maybe there really is a ghost, and it's eating Mommy and Daddy! And not in the way that Daddy says makes her happy!"

Moving towards each other, the two girls clung together in an embrace as they listened carefully. A period of silence was followed by a slight rustling, and the muffled voices they heard on the stairs soon became clear.

_"I don't think you're supposed to do that on a bed." _

"What? There wasn't anything that said I couldn't.

"It's a bed! It didn't come with an instruction manual!"

"What are you getting so worked up about?"

"Logan, you broke the bed."

"I_ broke the bed? _You_ were kind of an active participant in its demise. I was just along for the ride." _

"It takes two, Mister."

A nearly hysterical Mandy burst into tears as her parents entered the living room.

"What's the matter?" Veronica quickly scooped her daughter up into her arms. "Mandy, honey, did the noise scare you? We didn't mean it. Look, we're okay. Everything's okay." She ran a comforting hand through Mandy's blonde hair.

"What...what happened?" Mandy choked out, burying her head into her mother's shoulder. Veronica looked to Logan.

"It was just an accident, sweetie," Logan jumped in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. On Mandy's loud wail, he glanced over at Tina. "Is everything okay down here, girls?"

"Yes, Mr. Echolls," Tina jumped in. "It was just really loud, and I was telling Mandy a scary story. Right, Mandy?"

"Yeah," Mandy answered, rubbing at her eyes. "It was the _scariest_."

"Girls," Logan looked at them sternly. "What did we tell you about ghost stories? We knew you'd get scared."

"Sorry," Mandy and Tina echoed in unison. "We'll stop now, promise." Tina smiled up at the two adults.

"Are you going to be okay, Mandy?" Veronica asked, concerned with how tightly her daughter was clutching her robe.

Mandy nodded.

"I'll go up and change the sheets in the guest room. I have no idea when the last time we washed them was, and if I can't sleep in my own bed, at least I can have clean sheets." Logan stood up and headed to the stairway. "Okay?"

"Don't!" Mandy pleaded, her voice hiccuping from the force of her tears. "Sleep in your and Mommy's room! PLEASE?"

"No can do, honey. Don't worry, we'll be right upstairs if you need us."

Setting Mandy down on her sleeping bag, Veronica kissed her and patted Tina on the head soothingly. "If you're scared, you guys can go up and sleep in Mandy's room, so we'll be right next door."

"I'm okay," Mandy said softly. "You should go back to bed."

Veronica and Logan exchanged a worried glance.

"Really, we're fine." Tina smiled brightly. "Night!"

"Good night, girls," Logan said, still staring at them. "Make sure you come to us if anything happens."

Mandy nodded. Logan and Veronica slowly made their way towards the stairs, looking behind them every few seconds. When they were finally gone, Mandy and Tina sat in silence for a few moments.

"There were other things." Tina spoke up suddenly. "Other weird things that happened before Daddy left."

"Really?" Mandy sniffled and looked at her friend warily.

Tina reached out and grabbed Mandy's hand, patting it reassuringly. "Yep. Daddy was really making Mommy feel bad. She was sick in the morning sometimes. She threw up more than when I had a bug in my tummy and had to stay home from school for three days. And she said her head hurt and she was hanging over stuff. I don't know what she meant."

"My Daddy has hanging stuff!" Mandy exclaimed. "When people say 'hang on,' Mommy giggles, and says that Daddy hangs with the best of them. 'Cause he's hunged really good. Is that what it was like with your Mommy?"

"No." Tina shook her head. "But! Mommy got really fat, too."

"Your daddy leaving made your mommy _fat_?" Mandy's voice was incredulous. "How? Is it like when Daddy says that he gives Mommy lots of exercise? So without exercise your mommy got fat?"

Tina snorted. "Mommy got fat 'cause she sat around and ate lots and lots of ice cream. But she only did that 'cause Daddy made her sad."

"Oh." Mandy perked up noticeably. "My Mommy's not fat!"

"Right. So she and your daddy are staying together. And you're only six, and I'm _seven_, so you should believe me. I know lots."

"Right." Mandy said, nodding emphatically, her sad eyes and tearstained face belying her confident tone.

--

"How're you feeling?" Logan sat down on the bed next to his wife, running a hand down her arm. "Any better?"

Veronica groaned and attempted to sit up. "I'm _fine_, Logan. I think I'm just still recovering from Mandy's party."

"Veronica." He frowned. "Mandy's party was weeks ago. That's not it, and you know it."

She waved a hand over her head, annoyed. "It's not like I didn't know what I was signing up for, right? It should start getting better soon. At least, I hope — Oh, God." Clamping a hand over her mouth, Veronica rolled out of the bed and quickly ran for the bathroom. Logan waited a moment, then lightly tapped on the door and walked in.

Holding Veronica's hair back as she threw up, Logan rubbed soothing circles on her back and whispered words of encouragement. She pulled back after a minute, face pale, and he hurriedly turned on the tap and poured her a glass of water.

"Thanks." Her voice was quiet, and she leaned back against the toilet as she sipped the water. Logan stood in front of her, sympathy etched on his face.

"I hate this part."

Veronica laughed. "Right there with you, buddy."

A sudden pounding on their bedroom door startled them. They heard Mandy enter the room, crying hysterically.

"Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?"

Logan was at the bathroom door in an instant. He spared a glance back at Veronica, who waved him off. "Go. Make sure she's okay. I'll be out in a second."

He nodded and closed the door tightly behind him.

"Mandy? Sweetie? What is it? Are you okay?" Her sobs only grew louder, and Logan quickly gathered the little girl up in his arms, checking her for injuries. "What happened?"

"It's Gasm," she wailed. "He ran away. I MISS HIM, DADDY!" She moved a hand up to wipe at her dripping nose. "We have to go and find him!"

"Wait." Logan's face darkened. "How did he get outside, Mandy?"

"Ummm..." She sniffled.

"How many times have your mother and I told you that you're _never_ supposed to go outside without one of us? It's so dangerous. You could have gotten hurt!" Logan hugged his daughter tightly to his chest.

"But I didn't go outside, Daddy!"

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Mandy."

"Just a little," she clarified. "There was a pretty butterfly on the window, and I wanted to play with her. I only opened the door for a second! Gasm ran out, and I couldn't catch him, and he's _gone_. I'm scared! Where's Mommy?" Mandy looked around the room frantically. "I want Mommy!"

He sighed. "Mommy's in the bathroom. Why don't you —"

Mandy scrambled out of Logan's arms and rushed towards the bathroom. Reaching for the door knob, Logan intercepted her before she could enter. He winced as he heard the sounds of Veronica retching within.

"Daddy! I need to talk to Mommy!"

"She'll come out when she's done, Mandy."

"But I want her _now_!" Once again, she started for the door.

"No, Mandy. She's not feeling well."

Mandy heard the distinctive sounds of someone throwing up and paled. "You're just being over'tective, like Dick said." Realization dawning on her face, she whirled around and raised her voice. "You didn't make her sick, did you? I wanna see her! She's my Mommy, and I _need_ her!"

"Mandy!" Logan barked. "Go to your room. Now. We'll talk about finding Gasm in a minute."

"But..."

"_Now_, Mandy."

"I hate you!" She shrieked. "You don't love me! You're the meanest Daddy _ever_, and I HATE you lots!" Mandy sprinted out of the room in tears, and Logan grimaced as he heard her bedroom door slam.

Moments later, Veronica stumbled out of the bathroom, leaning against the door frame for support. Logan walked over to her and pulled her in a gentle hug. Clearly distraught, he buried his face in her shoulder.

"My own daughter hates me. I'm officially my father."

"Logan, come on." Veronica admonished. "She's six. Dad warned us about all of this. Apparently, it's a phase, and apparently, it'll last a long time. So we just have to get used to it. You know how much Mandy loves you. She didn't mean it — she's just worried."

"I know, I know," Logan lifted his head and rubbed his temples. "What do we do now?"

Veronica smiled and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "I go and comfort our daughter. You have a dog to find."

"Right." Logan nodded. "So..._every_ kid goes through this phase? Like, we're going to have to do this again?"

She rolled her eyes and shooed him out of the room.

--

"I heard someone was missing a puppy?" Logan stood in the doorway of Mandy's room, trying to keep a firm hold on the wriggling dog in his arms.

"GASM!" Mandy, who was nestled in Veronica's arms, jumped off her bed gleefully, not noticing the way her parents cringed when she spoke the name. "Daddy, you found him! You _found_ him! I love you!" Running to him, she wrapped her arms around his legs and clung tightly.

Logan and Veronica shared a tender smile as Logan bent down to hand over the dog.

"He was only out in the front yard, Mandy. You got lucky this time. But you can't ever do that again. We might not be able to find him, and you could get hurt. Do you understand? Your mother and I love you very much, and we don't want anything to happen to you."

Mandy bobbed her head up and down vigorously. "I know. I'm sorry, Daddy. But I have my puppy back! Yay! You're the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world! I love you so much, Daddy."

Logan turned his head away from his daughter to wipe something from his eye that looked suspiciously like a tear.

--

"Are you ready for your bedtime story, sweetie?"

"Yes!" Mandy climbed into her bed and Veronica pulled the covers up over her daughter, tucking them in at the sides.

"Tight enough?"

Mandy squirmed around for a second, smiling delightedly when the sheets didn't move. "Yep!"

"Okay." Veronica smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, Mandy's head resting on her leg. "I have a new book for us today."

"Really?" Mandy's eyes grew wide.

"Really. It's so new that Daddy wanted to know if he could listen to it, too." Veronica nodded towards the doorway, where Logan stood, waiting.

"Daddy wants to hear story time? Why?"

"Just because." Logan plopped down at the foot of the bed and reached out to smooth back Mandy's hair. "Besides, this is a really important book."

"What's it about?" Mandy asked excitedly. "Tell me!"

"Well," Veronica tilted her head to the side and smiled at Logan from across the bed. "It's about birds."

"Birdies! I love birdies!"

"I know. These birds are a family. With a mommy bird, and a daddy bird, and a little bird."

"Like _us_!" Mandy announced.

Veronica nodded encouragingly. "_Exactly_, honey. And in this story, another birdie comes to live in their nest."

"Why?" The young girl's face scrunched in disapproval. "That's stupid."

"No, it's not. The new bird is a baby, and the mommy and daddy bird take care of it. And the little bird —"

"_Hates it_. Because he probably has to share his toys, and that's no fun! I know, 'cause Henry told me that David takes his toys all the time without asking. That's mean. I like having my toys all to myself! 'Cause they're mine!"

Veronica sighed deeply. "That's in the Fennel family. In _this_ story, the little bird learns that he really likes living with the baby. And he shares all of his toys, and loves the baby bird very much." She showed Mandy the sickeningly adorable picture of the two birds on the cover of the book.

"Really?" Mandy asked, curious. "Why?"

"Well, why don't we read and find out?"

Mandy thought for a second. "Okay. 'Cause I really like birdies. What about you?" She asked, wiggling in her covers until she had a clear view of Logan. "Do you like birdies, Daddy?"

Logan smiled at his daughter. "Very much. Now make sure you listen to the story carefully, honey."

--

"Mommy! Hi!" Mandy darted into the kitchen, Logan following closely on her heels.

"You're home early. How was school, sweetie?"

"It was really fun! We colored, and I got to go on the swings at lunch, and Tina was my partner for reading."

Logan grinned. "And? Show Mommy what you made for her."

"Oh, yeah!" Mandy turned around so Logan could tug the pink Powerpuff Girl backpack off of her shoulders. Rummaging around for a moment, she emerged triumphant, a sheet of paper in her hand. "I drew you a picture!"

"Well, hand it over, then." Veronica wiped her hands on a dishtowel and accepted the drawing. Smiling, she turned it to Logan, displaying a happy family of stick figures, two blondes, one with brown hair, and what looked to be a little dog at their feet. "Did you see this?"

He nodded. "I think it's a keeper."

"Agreed. Look how she caught my good side." Veronica pointed to the taller of the blonde people.

"And look at me." Mandy gestured at a pink blob. "And Gasm, too!"

"And Gasm, too. Let's get this one up on the fridge, stat." Moving the various other works of art being held in place by magnets, Veronica positioned the new drawing so it was directly on the center of the appliance.

"Perfect!" Mandy clapped her hands together.

"I think such a nice present deserves a hug. What are you waiting for? Don't you want to collect?" Veronica held her arms open and Mandy dashed between them. As she wrapped her tiny arms around the familiar curves of her mother, her eyes widened. A grip that she had known so well had apparently changed. Her arms couldn't quite reach to their usual resting places around her mother. Looking closely at Veronica's stomach, a fearful expression crossed Mandy's face.

"Mommy," Mandy gasped, attempting, to no avail, to get her arms further around Veronica. "Have you been eating lots of ice cream? You got fat!"

TBC... :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: When I Was A Child (3/4)  
**Author**: Sarah :)  
**Pairing/Characters**: Logan/Veronica, Keith, Vinnie, Lamb  
**Rating**: R  
**Spoilers**: Through 2x22, Not Pictured, just to be safe, but nothing specific. This is futurefic!  
**Word Count**: 10,616  
**Summary**: Nothing stays the same forever. Logan and Veronica's daughter Mandy finds out just how true this is.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Duh.  
**Thanks**: First of all, to **truemyth** for somehow helping me set up a WIP, even though I've never, ever even considered writing one, and for all of the handholding. It's much appreciated, Grace :). To **truemyth** and **kantayra**, for pretty much the best series of AIM chats EVER on brainstorming ideas for poor little innocent Mandy. They were instrumental in developing properly dirty story lines, as I can't even PRETEND to keep up with them :). Also, thank you **herowlness** for betaing this! She only had time to skim it over, so any mistakes? Are entirely and irrevocably mine. And I'm sure there are a lot of them. Sorry!  
**Final notes**: Written for the **loveathons** epic challenge. Companion piece to Trial by Furry, so it might help if you read that first :). Once again, I really, REALLY need to thank everyone who has read and left feedback on the first two chapters. Any time I needed motivation to work on this, reading those comments helped spur me along, and I appreciate it. You guys are the best :). I know this one was a long time coming, and it may be kind of lacking, but it's DONE. Sorry about the wait!

_I thought as a child.  
I Cor. xiii. 11. _

"What time is the delivery truck supposed to get here?" Logan looked up from his breakfast anxiously. "Because I _have_ to be at work by ten to finalize the Hodge settlement, and there's no way I'm—"

"...letting my poor and innocent pregnant wife deal with those nasty barbarians alone." Veronica rolled her eyes. "Logan, please. I can handle a delivery man or two." She winked at him as she took her seat at the table. "I mean, I've never had any complaints..."

"_Veronica!_" Her husband was clearly not amused. "That's not funny. Besides, you _know_ that the doctor said you should take it easy until your next appointment."

"I thought that's why my husband _insisted_ I take the week off." Veronica glared at him from across the table. "I mean, if you don't _want_ me to stay around here and take care of things, I'm more than happy to go back to work and—"

"Fine, fine," Logan muttered. "You win. They'd still better get here before I leave."

"Logan," Veronica sighed, biting back a smile. "You'd think that you're not happy that we finally bought a new bed. Isn't that supposed to be, like, every man's dream? Now you can reclaim your territory all over again."

With a predatory growl, he jumped up from his seat and moved behind his wife, dipping his head so his lips rested near her ear.

"That's _exactly_ what I intend to do. Trust me. Tonight is going to be—"

"Mommy! Daddy! I'm ready for school!" Hurricane Mandy breezed into the room, hopping up and taking a seat at the table next to Veronica. "Can I have some orange juice, please?"

Logan quickly nipped at Veronica's ear before moving towards the refrigerator. "Sure thing, sweetie. Did you make sure to put your stuff for show and tell in your backpack?"

"Yep," the little blonde girl nodded excitedly. "It's going to be the _bestest_."

"And you still can't tell us what you're bringing?" Veronica jumped in on the conversation.

"Nope," Mandy exclaimed, popping the 'p' as she spoke. "It's a surprise."

"Mandy," Veronica said sternly, staring at her daughter. "You didn't pack Gasm in your bag, did you?"

Mandy's eyes grew wide.

"Mandy?" Logan set a glass of orange juice down on the table and turned his gaze towards her.

"No?" Mandy spoke hesitantly.

A soft whimpering coupled with the fact that Mandy's schoolbag was currently sliding across the kitchen floor confirmed Veronica's suspicions. With a sigh, Logan reached over and tugged the zipper down, freeing a slightly breathless and very hyperactive puppy into the kitchen.

Veronica merely arched an eyebrow.

"Gasm can get hurt like that, honey," Logan replied, clasping a hand over Mandy's shoulder. "You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him, right?"

"No," Mandy whimpered, on the verge of tears. "I didn't know! I'm sorry! I love him _so_ much, and I don't want him to get hurt!"

"We know, sweetie." Veronica placed a soothing kiss on her forehead. "Why don't you eat your breakfast and then go upstairs and find something else to bring? What about Horny?"

"Mommy," Mandy admonished. "I brought Horny _last_ time. I can't show and tell him again! That's against the law!"

Veronica smiled. "Fine, fine. You can pick a different toy. Preferably of the non-living variety."

" 'Kay!" Mandy said, wriggling in her chair in anticipation. "Can I have cereal, Daddy?"

"Anything for you, honey." Logan reached out to tweak her nose playfully before going to get her a bowl.

"Yay! I want Cheerios. The kind with the little bee on the box." She pointed until Logan drew the Cheerios of the honey nut persuasion out of the cupboard.

As Logan poured the cereal and milk for Mandy, he turned back to Veronica.

"I still can't believe that we actually need another bed. I thought things like that were supposed to last forever. Whatever happened to quality control? I mean, if you can't trust your _bed_, what can you trust? Maybe I should ask the delivery people about it. Do you think this happens a lot?"

Veronica scowled at him.

"Logan? Sugar bear?"

"Yeah, snookums?"

"If you _ask_ them about beds breaking? That's it. I'm officially leaving you."

Logan grinned as he presented Mandy a spoon with a flourish.

"Is that so?"

Veronica nodded and turned back to her dry toast.

Eyes growing wide, Mandy looked from one parent to the other, trying to get a read on the situation.

"Mommy? You're leaving? Why?" Tears began to roll down her face. "Is it 'cause Daddy broke the bed? He didn't _mean_ to, I know it! PLEASE DON'T GO!" She hurtled herself into Veronica's arms, hysterical.

"What? Mandy, what are you talking about?" Realizing what she had said, Veronica laughed and ran a gentle hand down her daughter's back. "Relax, honey. I'm not going anywhere. Daddy and I were just kidding. Right, Logan?" She looked to him for back-up.

"Exactly. Your mother and I are here to stay, kiddo. Sorry if that dampens your plans." He winked at Mandy as she sniffled and attempted to wipe the tears from her face. "Tell you what? Why don't you go and find something new for show and tell, and I'll kiss Mommy and tell her I love her while you're gone. That way we won't gross you out."

Mandy thought about this for a second, then nodded her agreement.

" 'Kay. I love you, Mommy and Daddy!" She reached out and grabbed both of her parents' hands.

"We love you too, Mandy. More than anything." Veronica smiled at her little girl as Mandy hopped out of her chair and raced upstairs.

"Well, we promised our daughter, so..." Logan motioned that Veronica should stand up. "Let's get to it, Mrs. Echolls."

Veronica sighed, pretending to be put-out. "I _guess_ so. But only if I have to."

"You do."

Logan pulled Veronica into his embrace, and the two shared a tender kiss. Tender soon turned to passionate, and Logan had Veronica backed up into the kitchen counter, his hand up her nightgown, before she finally pulled away.

"Logan. Stop. She's going to be back down any minute."

Groaning, Logan dropped one more small kiss on the bridge of Veronica's nose before releasing her.

"Fine, fine. You win this round." Snaking an arm around her waist, he kept his wife close, leaning over so his head rested on hers. "So, your next doctor's appointment. That's when we find out? For sure?"

Veronica nodded. "That's what Dr. Higgins told me. Which means that in less than a month..."

"We'll know whether it's a boy or a girl." Logan looked down at Veronica, clearly in awe. "I love you."

"Are you guys _still_ doing this?" Mandy stood in the entrance to the kitchen, her tiny hands resting on her waist. " 'Cause that's gross! 'Sides, I need to get to school _now_. I have a new show and tell that's going to be even more better, and I have to get there. Let's go, people!"

Throwing open the front door and heading towards the car, Mandy left a pair of amused parents in her wake.

"Well, then. I guess I'd better get the girl to school."

"Veronica. We talked about this. I'll take her."

"_You_ have a delivery to wait for. See you later, Logan. We'll christen the new furniture then." With a wink she was gone, leaving Logan to await the arrival of their new bed.

--

"Thank you, Jimmy. Your collection of action hero cards is really...interesting. Isn't it, class?"

"Yes, Mrs. Wayne," twenty small voices chorused back.

"Okay, it's time for our last show and tell this morning. Mandy, are you ready?"

"Yes!" Mandy scrambled out of her chair and grabbed her backpack from her hook in the back of the room. Heading towards the front of the class, she smiled widely.

"My Mommy and Daddy told me that I couldn't bring my doggy in," a few children let out disappointed sighs, "but it's okay! 'Cause I brought some really cool stuff that I found in their room. Look! Mommies and daddies have toys, too!"

Opening her bag, Mandy pulled out a pair of handcuffs and held them up for the class to see. She didn't notice the stricken look on her teacher's face, so she launched into her spiel.

"My mommy and daddy must like to play cops and robbers, 'cause they keep these in their closet. My grandpa was a policeman, so I think my mommy likes to pretend that she's him. Daddy plays with her too, 'cause I hear him saying 'I surrender, officer,' lots." She took in the murmur of approval from her class, and her smile broadened. "It's just like how I play court with my uncle Cliff, 'cause he's a law...a law...a lawperson. It's really fun." She nodded encouragingly.

"That's nice, Mandy," Mrs. Wayne broke in quickly. "Now that you're done—"

"No, wait!" Mandy pulled another item out of her backpack. "I have more!" She brandished a large feather and waved it around, drawing the undivided attention of her classmates. "This is a feather. Mommy and Daddy tickle each other, 'cause it's silly. Sometimes when they tickle me, I laugh so hard I can't breathe, and then they stop, 'cause it's bad when you don't breathe. It's really fun, too. My feet are my most ticklish part, but don't tell my Daddy, 'cause he doesn't know that, and if he finds out, I'll never win a tickle war. That would be sad." Her face grew serious for a moment. Before her teacher could cut her off again, Mandy rummaged into her magical bag of mystery and came up with yet another surprise.

Her face screwed up in concentration, she began shifting a small plastic container between her hands. "I found some chocolate frosting in the closet, and I ate some. I always like dessert after I play, so I must have 'herited that from Mommy and Daddy. I don't know what that means, but one time after I got in trouble for writing on the walls, Grandpa said I 'herited trouble from Daddy." She regarded the frosting with a calculated stare. "I don't know why this was in the closet, 'cause that's bad. When I have food in my room, I get yelled at, 'cause I'm 'posed to eat in the kitchen. I think that's why they were hiding it. Anyway, chocolate is the yummiest, and I love it lots."

"Well, class, let's thank Mandy—"

"I have one more thing! Please!" Mandy looked at Mrs. Wayne imploringly.

"Okay," the teacher said hesitantly. "_One_ more...thing, Mandy."

"Thank you, Mrs. Wayne!" Mandy clasped her hands in front of her chest gratefully. "The last toy might be the very bestest of _all_. Looook." Her voice grew quiet as she reverently lifted a long purple cylinder from her bag. "They like to play parade. It's a baton!" As she raised her arm up in front of her and began moving the object up and down in a mimic of a parade leader, her finger grazed a small switch on the bottom, and the 'baton' began to vibrate.

"It gets all jiggly, too! It's so pretty!"

The class 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over Mandy's latest technological marvel. Mrs. Wayne looked like she was about to throw up. Swiftly moving in front of Mandy, effectively obscuring the other students' vision of the vibrating purple object, she glanced at the clock.

"I'm sorry to cut you short Mandy, but it's time for lunch!"

One timid little girl in the front row of desks raised her hand politely.

"Yes, Nicole?"

"It's not time for lunch yet, Mrs. Wayne. Lunch is when the big hand is on the twelve, and the little hand is on the eleven. The big hand is only on the nine."

"Yeah," the rest of the class chimed in.

"That's...usually right, class. But not today. Lunch is early." The harried woman began massaging her temples. "Get your lunches from the back of the room, and be sure to line up single-file." She looked behind her. "That means you too, Mandy. Why don't you put that away and leave your show and tell things behind my desk for the rest of the day?"

"But I wanted to play with them at recess," Mandy pouted.

"You can play with them later, dear. Now get ready for lunch."

As Mandy scampered off, Mrs. Wayne tiredly hefted herself into her desk chair and picked the phone up. After rifling through a few numbers, she found what she was looking for, and dialed.

"Mrs. Echolls? This is Jane Wayne, Mandy's teacher. When you come to pick her up today, could we talk for a bit?" She paused for a moment and listened to the voice on the other end of the line. "Of course. It's about her choice of show and tell items." She waited. "No, no, nothing like that. She didn't bring a dog. She brought...other...things. You'll see when you get here. Yes, but...we _need_ to talk. Okay, then. See you later. Good bye."

Sighing deeply, the prematurely gray-haired woman took the bottle of aspirin from the top drawer of her desk and tapped two tablets into her hand.

She was getting too old for this.

--

"I can't believe you're not freaking out about this. _How_ are you not freaking out about this?" Veronica threw the door to the walk-in closet open loudly, bending down as quickly as her enlarged stomach would allow her to dig a cardboard box out from behind her clothes.

"Veronica, calm down. You know it's not good for the baby when you get agitated." Logan stepped into the closet behind his wife and gingerly lifted the box from her arms as he pressed a calming hand to the small of her back.

"Logan, I don't think you understand. I just had to sit through a parent-teacher conference. My _first_ parent-teacher conference. And it was about SEX TOYS." Veronica's voice verged on hysterical.

Logan stared at Veronica for a moment before doubling over with laughter.

"This isn't funny! What kind of parents are we? What do you think that teacher thinks of us?"

"Veronica." Logan righted himself and drew her into his arms, leaning against the wall of the closet for support. "Look, we have a six year old daughter, and we should have locked things up that we didn't. Wouldn't you rather have her get into that stuff than something worse? It's not the end of the world." He began to rub small circles on her back. "We're still learning."

"But she's going to be so messed up now, Logan, and it's all our fault."

He laughed bitterly. "Please. You and I know a thing or two about messed up parenting, and trust me, we're not doing it. Mandy's a gorgeous little girl, with a happy childhood, and _we're_ giving that to her. Yeah, we make a few mistakes along the way. So what? We're _good_ parents, Veronica."

Veronica tilted her head back to look at her husband for a moment. The corners of her mouth curved up into a light smile.

"Since when did you become the voice of reason?"

"Since you got all pregnant and irrational?"

"_Logan_!" Veronica smacked him on the arm. "Not funny. But you're right, I guess." On his raised eyebrow, she hit him again, lightly. "For once, anyway. We make a good team." She nuzzled her head against the crook of his neck. "But...I don't think I can quite reiterate how awkward it is when your child's teacher needs to tell you that your daughter shouldn't bring the vibrator and handcuffs back to school. It's just...so _wrong_."

Logan chuckled again. "I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. Next time Mandy gets called in for bringing sex toys to school, _I'll_ deal with her teacher. Okay?"

Veronica nodded emphatically. "It's a deal. Although...let's just hope I never have to take you up on that offer."

Pulling a brand new padlock out of her back pocket, Veronica snapped it through the handles of the case Logan still held.

"Well, there. One box of dirty accessories, properly childproofed. I feel good about this."

"As do I." Something on the bed caught Logan's eye, and he motioned to it with his head. "What's that?"

"Oh, I almost forgot." Veronica popped the key back in the lock and opened the box. "Those would be the items Miss Mandy decided would make the," she air quoted, " 'bestest show and tell _ever_.' Better get those back in here."

Logan nodded approvingly as he lifted each item from the bed.

""Handcuffs. Nice choice." He dropped them in the box. "Feather...an interesting selection." That, too, made its way into the container. "Oh, and the chocolate frosting. What six year old is going to leave that?" He chucked the can in on top of the feather. "And last but not least...what do we have here?" His eyes widened as he picked up the long purple vibrator.

"Veronica?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you even remember we had this one?"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at him. "No. It must have been shoved somewhere in the back, because it's been a while..." Her voice trailed off as she saw the predatory glint in his eyes.

"Well, I think it's time we brought this little guy back to the fold. What do you think?"

Veronica's mouth smothering his own was the only response he received.

--

A loud knock on the door startled Logan and Veronica from their post-coital bliss.

"Mommy! Daddy! DOOR!" Mandy shouted from downstairs. "Hurry!"

Exchanging a glance, Veronica winked at Logan and dove for the bathroom door. "Sorry, I'm in the shower. You'll have to answer it."

Logan glared at her for a minute, finally sighing and pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants.

"THEY'RE STILL HERE!" Mandy shrieked.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Logan muttered sleepily as he headed towards the stairs. "And not in the good way, either."

--

Upon opening the door and seeing who was on the other side, Logan promptly closed it.

"Daddy!" Mandy giggled. "What are you doing?"

"Hey!" An angry male voice sounded from outside. "I'm here on business. Let me in!"

Sighing, Logan turned the knob again and moved aside, allowing the one and only Vinnie Vanlowe to enter his home.

"I need to talk to the lady of the house. Where is she?"

Logan eyed the man warily as Mandy bounced up and down beside her father. "You mean Mommy? She's upstairs!"

"Yeah, Mommy." Vinnie turned to Logan and sneered. "Are you going to tell Veronica I'm here?" He listened for a moment, hearing the sounds of water running through pipes. "On second thought, don't bother. I'll just go up myself."

"Yeah. Right." Logan rolled his eyes and motioned to the couch. "Sit down and I'll go get her. Don't touch _anything_. Got it?"

Vinnie shrugged, the very picture of innocence, and Logan snorted loudly.

"Come on, Mandy. Let's go upstairs now."

"But I don't want to," the little girl pouted. "I wanna stay here with..." Her nose crinkled in concentration as she turned towards the couch. "What's your name, Mister?"

"Vinnie. Vanlowe. Pleased to make your acquaintance." He sized her up, his eyes moving over her rapidly. "And who are you, little lady?"

"I'm Mandy!" Mandy said proudly, pointing to herself. Before she could get any further, Logan had scooped her into his arms and was halfway up the stairs.

"Remember. Just...sit there. Veronica'll be right down."

"You can trust me!" Vinnie shot off a salute as Logan left the room. Once the coast was clear, he immediately got up and began poking around.

"Hi, Vinnie!" The loud voice behind him startled him, and Vinnie banged his head on the coffee table he had been looking under.

"Heya, kid. I thought your dad said you were supposed to stay upstairs."

"He _did_," Mandy confided. "But when he went to his room, I sneaked out! 'Cause I want to talk to you!"

"Oh. Great." Vinnie slouched back onto the couch. "About what? Your parents? You gonna tell me that there's a chance that your momma'd leave your dad for a stud like me?"

Mandy frowned, her lower lip trembling. "Mommy would _never_ leave Daddy. He's the bestest daddy in the whole world. Don't say that!"

Vinnie's eyebrows shot up. "Okay, okay. Touchy subject, I guess. Well, what can you tell me about them? Anything interesting going on lately? Spill. I won't tell them anything you say. Swear to God."

"Awwww! Swearing is _bad_! God doesn't like it!" Her jaw dropped as she stared at Vinnie.

"You're, what, five years old?" Mandy shook her head and held up six fingers. "Fine, six. What do you know about God, then?"

"I know that my mommy and daddy are really good friends with him, and they know _everything_, and they said that swearing is bad, so swearing to God is even _worse_," she expelled in a single breath.

"So they're close to God, huh? Not what I would have expected, especially considering your father..."

"They pray _lots_," Mandy continued. "Every night, and sometimes in the morning. And the afternoon. And lots of times in between. Mommy says "oh, my God" really loud a bunch of times, and then Daddy does, and then they sound really happy. That's 'cause God is really nice and stuff." She nodded matter-of-factly.

Vinnie perked up immediately.

"Is that so?" On Mandy's nod, he grew thoughtful. "You know, kid, I might just have a really important job for you. That is, if you think you're old enough to handle it."

Mandy's head bobbed up and down eagerly. "I can do it! I promise! I'll do it really good, too!"

He pursed his lips together. "That's what I was hoping you'd say." Drawing a small device out of his pocket, he held it out so she could see it. "All I need you to do is go up to your mommy and daddy's room and plant this little bug."

"BUG? WHERE?" Mandy shrieked, crawling up onto an armchair, petrified. "Bugs are yucky! Daddy!" She shouted, her voice cracking with fear. "Come kill it! Now!"

"What? No!" Vinnie looked to the stairs, and, not seeing any potential interruption, continued. "I didn't mean a _bug_ bug. I meant, like...a detective bug. You can be a secret agent and everything. All you have to do is plant this somewhere near your parents' bed. Can you do that for me?"

"I can't plant it there. There's no dirt in Mommy and Daddy's bed! They clean it. 'Sides, it's brand new, 'cause they broke the old one." He face grew worried. "They said is was an accident, but I don't know..."

Vinnie's eyes widened. "Are you shitting me? Echolls was boning Veronica, and they broke the bed?"

"No, silly," Mandy corrected. "And don't swear any more, or you'll get in _big_ trouble. But Daddy and Mommy _sleep_ in bed. Gasm gets all the boning! And after I give him one, he gets all happy and licks me lots and lots, and I get all sticky and have to take a bath. Duh."

Vinnie blinked once. The twice. Then a third time for good measure.

"What was that again, sweetheart? Slower, and in more detail. Please."

Mandy exhaled loudly, clearly annoyed at Vinnie's stupidity. "Gasm likes bones. It's his _job_." Rolling her eyes in a perfect mirror of her mother, Mandy looked around the living room and called out. "Come, Gasm!" Turning back to Vinnie, she continued. "Didn't you ever have a doggy, Mister?"

"Wait. You're telling me—" Vinnie paused, for once left speechless.

"Gasm, are you _coming_," Mandy yelled. Seconds later, the pudgy pit bull trotted into the room, and Mandy squealed delightedly. "See? Mommy and Daddy gave him to me for my birthday, and he's the bestest _ever_. Isn't he?" She picked the dog up, and, struggling to hold him in her small arms, moved towards Vinnie to give him a better look.

Veronica chose that moment to run downstairs, her hair still wet from the shower.

"Mandy? I thought you were in your room." She raised an eyebrow and looked to the man sitting on the couch. "Isn't there like, some kind of law that prohibits you from being within one hundred feet of small children?"

"Ha, _ha_," Vinnie offered.

"Honey, go upstairs and see what Daddy's doing, okay?" Veronica gently nudged her daughter out of the room. "Mommy needs to talk to Vinnie for a minute."

" 'Kay, Mommy!" Mandy set Gasm down and pushed him towards the stairs. "I'll race you, Gasm! First one there gets to jump on top of Daddy!" The small girl darted up, her puppy right at her heels.

"Hey! What about my business proposition?" Vinnie looked on in despair as Mandy left the room.

Veronica coughed loudly. "Vinnie. Let me remind you that she is my _six year old_ daughter. Any proposition you have for her..." Her gaze darkened. "You'd better call a moratorium on it right now. Or, I'm sure _Logan_ would be interested in hearing about it..."

"No, no!" Vinnie waved his arms in front of his chest. "We were just discussing a professional deal. It actually concerned _you_." Off Veronica's surprised look, he shrugged. "It was just a little idea. Never mind. As much as I love having you flirt with me, we need to get down to business. Do you think you can control yourself for a few minutes, Veronica?"

She snorted. "What the hell are you smoking?"

"It's okay." Vinnie winked at her. "I get it all of the time. I'm flattered, really. Anyway, it seems a former client of mine has hired you to oversee her divorce proceedings."

"Okaaaay." Veronica sat down in the chair across from him and indicated he should continue. "I'm sure _lots_ of your clients hire me, Vinnie. Isn't that what you specialize in, after all?"

"Well, yeah." He puffed his chest out proudly. "It's all in the line of duty. A PI's life is dedicated to telling people the truth, no matter how much it hurts. You know how it is." He lifted an arm in solidarity.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten.

"What'd you do, Vinnie?"

"What? Why do you automatically assume that _I_—" Seeing Veronica's glare, he stopped talking. "Fine. Some of the evidence the wronged wife might bring to you to help her get a big settlement? _Might_ have been obtained in slightly less than legal ways."

"Isn't that what you always do? How is this case different from any of your others?"

Vinnie blanched. "Let's just say I had to get...creative on this case."

Veronica sat back in her chair, her eyes sparkling. "Do tell, Vinnie. Do tell."

--

"Mmm, Veronica." Logan trailed his hand down her thigh, making sure to hitch her nightgown up on its return trip up her body. "What do you say we christen this new bed properly?"

She laughed. "You do realize that after we've had sex in it once, it isn't so much 'christening' the bed as just 'having more sex' in the bed, right?"

He shrugged. "Works for me."

Veronica put a finger to her chin and pretended to think for a moment. "Me too. Let's go."

The couple frantically divested their clothing, the only snag coming when Veronica couldn't navigate her nightgown over her head.

"Logan," she wailed. "I'm as big as a _house_. How can you possibly find me attractive?"

He growled at her in response, ripping the garment from her body hungrily as he pressed himself against her leg. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, Veronica. You're _gorgeous_."

Placated for the moment, Veronica allowed Logan to position her on her knees. She grabbed the headboard for leverage as he lined himself up. Gently, he entered her from behind, relishing in the low moan that emanated from his wife's throat.

"God, Logan, yes." She breathed out.

"Have I mentioned that I love it when you're pregnant?" Logan asked as he began pumping in and out of her pliant body, careful of how hard he was jarring her stomach. "Because I _love_ when you're pregnant."

"Oh, right, because we don't have an active enough sex life when my hormones aren't all out of whack," she gasped as his thrusts picked up speed.

"Touché. But..._fuck_, Veronica." He closed his eyes and moved his hands so they were gently cupping her swollen breasts. "You're amazing."

"Mmmm." Eyes closed as well, Veronica leaned her head back until her mouth was close enough to Logan's for them to share a messy kiss. "Keep going like this, and you've got me all night."

Logan began moving inside her with a new vigor, both of them so lost in the sensation that they failed to notice the loud, thumping noises emanating from their new bed.

--

THUNK

THUNKTHUNK

Cowering under her covers, Mandy slowly poked her head out, eyes searching her dark room.

"Gasm?" She whispered. "Are you here?" A tiny yelping indicated that her puppy was, indeed, laying at the foot of her bed. "Horny?" She asked. "Are you here, too?" Her small hand reached out to clutch the stuffed unicorn.

BANGBANG

"What _is_ that?" She asked, fear tingeing her voice. "I think it's coming from Mommy and Daddy's room." She paused and listened for another minute. "I know, Horny, they makes lots of noises, but..." She trailed off, clearly concerned. "It's so _loud_. And _scary_. What if something bad is happening?"

Her mouth dropped open.

"Uh-oh, you guys. I think I know what's wrong. I have to save them!" Crawling out of her bed and standing up bravely, the picture of courage in her footie pajamas, Mandy grabbed her lucky blanket with a flourishing 'swoosh' and tied it around her neck.

"You two stay here. I'm going in."

--

"Logan, right there, _please_!" Veronica continued to cry out to her husband as she neared her release. They had shifted positions so she was now laying on her side with him spooned up behind her, one hand resting on her thigh to balance himself, the other lovingly stroking her bulging stomach.

"Fuck, Veronica," he bit out as he continued to pound into her. Sensing his orgasm, he moved his hand from her stomach and tweaked her clit just hard enough to send her over the edge. He came along with her, their bodies shuddering in concert as they rode out their pleasure.

"Oh God, oh God, oh _GOD_," Veronica panted. "Yes!"

Before they even had a chance to come down from their highs, the door to their bedroom burst open suddenly. Startled, Logan moved himself in front of Veronica, intent on protecting her. A small blanket-covered, foam baseball bat-wielding bundle dove into the bed and began attacking the lump of sheets between Logan and Veronica.

"Don't hurt my mommy and daddy!" A shrill voice screamed. "Go away!"

Shock registering on their faces, it took Logan and Veronica a moment to realize that the intruder was none other than their darling daughter.

"Mandy? What are doing? Stop." Logan removed the toy from her hand and dropped it on the ground next to the bed. "Don't do that."

She immediately burst into tears, clinging to Logan for dear life.

"What is it? What's wrong, sweetie? Is everything okay?" Logan looked to Veronica, worry etched on his face.

"Mandy? Please, honey, tell us what happened." Veronica's voice was frantic.

"There was..." The young girl hiccuped, choking on her sobs. "There was a monster in your bed. I heard it all the way from my room. It was really loud and scary, and I thought it _ate_ you. I had to come and save you!" Mandy scrambled further into Logan's sheet-covered lap as her eyes darted around the bed nervously. "Did I get it? I saw it moving lots under the covers. Did it hurt you and Mommy?"

Logan and Veronica turned matching shades of white.

Looking over Mandy's head at Veronica, Logan mouthed a silent "shit" as he tried to calm his hysterical daughter.

"Mandy, we're okay!" Veronica assured her daughter. "We're fine."

"You are?" She sniffled loudly.

"We are," Logan jumped in as he ran a comforting hand through Mandy's hair. "You protected us. Thank you, sweetie."

Mandy lifted her tear-stained face to look at her parents. "I did?"

"You did, Mandy. See? Everything's all right now." Veronica opened her arms for her daughter.

Before she scrambled over, Mandy noticed the slightly-drooping sheet on Veronica's body. Eyes darting back to Logan, her mouth dropped open in shock. "Oh no! Did the bed monster steal your clothes? That means he almost ate you. WHY?" She burst into a fresh round of sobs. "He can't have you! I _need_ you."

Logan and Veronica shared a tender look before the reality of their situation set in. Discreetly attempting to cover herself better, Veronica shifted down in the bed.

"Well, Mandy, I think you've had enough excitement for one night. Why don't Daddy and I put you back to bed? Then you can forget about monsters and get some sleep, okay?"

"NO!" Mandy shrieked. "I need to sleep with you! Always! What if the monster comes back?"

Logan groaned and dropped his head into his hands. Veronica sighed.

"You can stay in here just for tonight, sweetheart. Daddy and I are going to be okay. You don't need to worry." She kissed Mandy on the cheek. "It's _our_ job to take care of you, remember?"

While Mandy was occupied, Logan quickly slipped on a pair of boxers. Then Veronica handed Mandy over to him so she could dress as well, and covertly put her nightgown on under the covers. Minutes later, with Mandy snuggled up between them, a wide smile on her face, the three of them laid down to sleep.

"Now I know why people don't buy new beds," Logan groaned quietly as Mandy drifted off. "Just when she started sleeping through the night..."

Veronica bit her lip to keep from laughing. Upon receiving Logan's glare, she shrugged.

"Come on, Logan. You have to admit it's kind of funny. In a totally horrible and embarrassing way, of course."

"Sure. It's a regular laugh riot," he mumbled. "Let's see how much you're laughing when we can't have sex any more."

Veronica blanched. Logan nodded knowingly.

"Okay," she conceded. "Not funny. At _all_."

"Damn straight."

--

"Hormonal? You think I'm being hormonal? Fine, Logan. You want hormonal? I'll SHOW you hormonal."

Mandy cringed as the harsh words wafted down the stairs from her parents' bedroom. They rarely fought, but lately, it seemed that raised voices were all she heard around the house. She heard more screaming, followed by a slamming door, and her face crumpled.

Moments later, Logan came pounding down the stairs, the agitation clear on his face. He looked around the living room for a moment, concern creeping into his voice. "Mandy? Are you down here, honey?"

A soft sniffling alerted him to her presence. His demeanor changed in an instant, the harsh lines on his face melting into loving compassion. He knelt down and peered under the coffee table.

"Hey there, sweetie. What are you doing under there?"

Mandy choked back a hiccup as tears streamed down her face.

"What's wrong, Mandy? Come on," he gently extracted her from under the table and pulled her into his lap. "Why are you crying?"

"You and Mommy are yelling again. I don't like it when you yell. It's scary, Daddy!" She buried her face in his chest. "Please don't fight and move away like Tina's daddy."

Realization dawned on Logan. "Oh, Mandy. Sweetheart. Look at me." He lifted his daughter's face to meet his own. "I'm never going to leave you. You don't ever, _ever_ have to worry about that."

"What about Mommy?"

"Mommy's not leaving either. We both love you so much, Mandy. Why would you think we'd get a divorce?"

Mandy choked back a fresh round of tears. " 'Cause Tina told me all of the things that _her_ mommy and daddy did before they got 'vorced, and now you and Mommy are doing all the same things."

Logan blinked. "Oh, God. No, honey. There are...other things going on, but your mom and I are definitely not going anywhere. I promise. Mommy just...hasn't been feeling well lately."

The little girl's eyes widened. "Mommy's sick? Does she hafta go to the doctor? The doctor scares me." She shivered at the thought, and Logan's arms tightened around her. "Is she gonna be okay?" she asked, her voice small.

Logan nodded. "She's going to be fine, but for the next few weeks, we have to try extra hard to be nice to her, okay? Mommy's going to need some extra help around here. I know you can do this for her."

Mandy nodded eagerly. "I'll be on my bestest behavior ever! And I can make supper for her! I can cook really good!"

He smiled tenderly at the child in his lap, running a soothing hand through her hair. "That's perfect. I think Mommy'll really appreciate it."

"What..." Mandy trailed off. "What's wrong with her? And why does being sick make you guys fight?"

Logan sighed deeply. Before he had to come up with an explanation, though, the sound of someone on the stairs diverted both of their attentions. Veronica stood at the bottom, biting her lip, her face blotchy and tear-streaked.

"Logan..." She started. Veronica moved a tired hand to massage the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "I didn't mean—"

"I know." He was up and across the room in an instant, one hand bracing her back while the other gently caressed her stomach. "Veronica, I know. You don't need to apologize. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I just thought...it was a joke," he finished lamely. "You looked like you could use some distraction." He shrugged. "How are you feeling?"

She laughed quietly, resting her head on his shoulder. "I've been better. I'm just so _tired_, but it'll pass."

"You should be in bed." He looked at her sternly. "Doctor's orders."

"Oh, really?" She quirked an eyebrow at him. "What doctor would that be?"

"Doctor Logan. And he's the only one that counts at the moment."

"Mmm. Is Doctor Logan willing to make dinner again tonight, then?"

Logan grinned, glad at having won the battle. "He thinks that can be arranged."

A small hand tugging at the bottom of Veronica's shirt broke the moment between them.

"What is it, sweetie?" Veronica placed a comforting hand on her daughter's head. "I'm sorry I made you and Daddy worry."

"No, Mommy," the young girl admonished. "That's not it. You're 'posed to make Daddy crazy. He told me." Logan bit back a laugh as Veronica turned to glare at him before speaking again.

"Then what is it?"

"I'm gonna make dinner!" She announced, wedging herself between the two adults and taking each of their hands, leading them to the couch. "Sit down and watch TV." Mandy ran out of the room before either Logan or Veronica could get a word in edgewise. As Logan stood up to make sure his daughter wasn't going to set the house on fire, she materialized in the doorway.

"Daddy?" She asked, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger, cocking her head adorably. "Can you get the bread? I can't reach." Chuckling, Logan pressed a kiss to Veronica's forehead and moved to the kitchen. "Stay," he pointed at his wife, before leaving the room.

That night, the Echolls family feasted on messy, slightly crooked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

None of them had ever had a better meal.

--

The following week, Mandy and Tina giggled as they surveyed the playground at lunchtime. "I brought my Barbies," Mandy offered, overturning her pink Powerpuff Girl backpack to reveal the stash inside.

"Ooooh!" Tina exclaimed. "Cool! Can I be Fashion Fever Barbie?"

Mandy generously handed over the prized doll. "_You_ can, 'cause you're my bestest friend in the whole world." She jutted her wrist out proudly, displaying a messily braided friendship bracelet. "I even have _proof_."

Tina nodded sagely and held up her wrist, which held a complementing band. "Me too!"

The two girls set about playing until a tiny beeping from Tina's Dora the Explorer watch interrupted the game.

"Darn it." Tina frowned. "I have to go in and get my medicine."

"For your ear 'fection?" Mandy looked at her friend with wide eyes. "Are you better? I don't want you to be sick."

Tina smiled reassuringly. "My ear doesn't even hurt any more, but the doctor said I have to take it all, and Mom and Dad said he was right. It's okay, though, 'cause it tastes really good."

"Is it purple?" Mandy inquired. "Purple is my _favoritest_."

Tina shook her head and shrugged. "It's pink, but it tastes like bubble gum. Yummy!"

Mandy and Tina shared another laugh before the older girl stood up. Someone across the playground caught her eye, and Tina reached down and tugged urgently on Mandy's sleeve.

"Mandy, look. Derek is staring at us and making mean faces." Her voice grew fearful. "What does he want with us?"

Oblivious to the potential threat, Mandy continued playing with her Barbies. "I don't know."

"He's in _third grade_. I heard that last week, he took Johnny's lunch, and then gave him a bloody nose. He's really scary." Tina began gnawing on her lower lip. "Mandy, he's getting closer!"

Mandy rolled her eyes. "He's just a boy, Tina, and boys are stupid."

"But what if he wants to take our lunches and beat us up?

Mandy looked puzzled. "But we already ate."

"Maybe he wants to cut all the hair off of your Barbies! My Dad said that he used to do that when he was little."

Shrugging, Mandy finally looked up. "I wouldn't let him do _that_. I love my Barbies lots!"

Another sharp beep sounded from Tina's watch, and she sighed.

"I have to go to the nurse, Mandy. Maybe you should get up and move..." Noticing that Mandy wasn't going to do anything of the sort, Tina looked towards the main entrance of the school. "I'll be really, really fast, and I'll run right back here to make sure you're okay, Mandy."

Mandy looked up at her friend and smiled. " 'Kay, Tina. I'll be careful. You shouldn't worry, 'cause Daddy always tells Mommy it'll give her wrinkles."

"I'm older than you. It's my _job_." Tina admonished. With a quick wave she darted off, running at full blast towards the nurse.

Tina hadn't even been gone for a minute when a dark shadow hovered over Mandy. Looking up, she was greeted by the angry, snarling face of Derek, third grade bully extraordinaire.

"_Excuse_ me. I'm trying to play here," Mandy said, shifting so she was still in the sunlight. "Do you like Barbies or something?"

"What did you just say to me?" The menacing boy stepped closer to Mandy and plucked the doll she was playing with out of her hand.

"Hey! That's _mine_! Give it back!"

"Make me," he sneered.

Standing up, Mandy balled her hands into fists and rested them on her hips. "Give me back my Barbie right now, or I'm telling on you!"

"Oooh, you're going to tell on me. I'm _soooo_ scared," Derek taunted, waving the doll over Mandy's head, far out of her reach.

"Stop it!" Mandy shrieked.

"Make me!" He returned, shoving Mandy away from him and laughing cruelly as she hit the ground hard.

Seeing blood blossom from a scrape on her knee, Mandy stood up, infuriated. "You're a MEANIE!" She shouted. "Don't you have any friends? Why do you need to pick on someone in kindergarten?"

"You did _not_ just say that," Derek bit out. "Get ready to—"

"Get ready to what?" Mandy screamed. "You hurt me, and I WANT MY DOLLY BACK!" She landed a hard punch to his stomach, her eyes lighting up when he doubled over in pain and dropped the doll in the process. Picking it and the rest of her toys up, she burst into tears just as a teacher approached them.

"Derek. Picking on the younger kids again? Time to go see the principal."

--

"I'm sure you understand why we need your help in showing Derek that this is unacceptable behavior." The principal motioned for the boy's father to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Well...actually, no, not really. What was the problem again?"

"He's terrorizing younger children, Mr. Lamb. That's not what we teach at this school." Looking at the impassive face of Neptune's former sheriff, the principal sighed. "I wanted to have you and Derek's mother here together, but I couldn't get in touch with Mrs. Lamb. Is there any way we could schedule—"

"There is no Mrs. Lamb," Don Lamb corrected sharply. "Madison has a spa date, though, so here I am. Can we make this fast? I have plans with the guys tonight."

--

A short time later, one very exasperated principal showed Don Lamb out of her office. "Please consider what we talked about, Mr. Lamb. Derek is in the classroom down the hall, thinking about what he did." Lamb snorted as he set out to reclaim his child. In his absence, Veronica approached the principal and shook hands with her warmly.

"Mrs. Lewis? You said Mandy got into a...fight today?" Worry creased Veronica's face. "Is she okay? What happened? My daughter isn't a fighter."

Having had this conversation many times before, Mrs. Lewis ushered Veronica into her office.

"Mandy's fine, Mrs. Echolls, and the fight was instigated by an older student. I've already spoken to the boy's father. Let me tell you what happened."

Still concerned, Veronica's eyes darted around the room. "Where is she?"

"She's right next door, in the secretary's office. You can take her home in a few minutes. Shall we?" Nodding, Veronica moved into the room as the principal closed the door.

After her mother was safely inside, Mandy popped out of the adjacent office and into the hallway. Staring intently, she waited until she saw who she was looking for.

"Go get in the car. And I don't want to hear it. How many times have I told you, if you're going to do something bad, don't get caught? I thought I raised you better. Go on!" Mandy slipped behind the open door as Derek ran past, then stepped out directly in front of Lamb as he strolled down the hall.

"Mr. Lamb?"

Surprised at being addressed by the little girl, Lamb paused, trademark smirk in place.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"I'm not your sweetheart. Don't call me that, it's yucky." Mandy shuddered. "Your son is a jerk!"

"What was that?" Lamb looked down at her, shocked. "You're talking to _me_ about my son? What are you, the mini-principal?"

"_I'm_ Amanda, the girl he was mean to on the playground. He took my Barbie and pushed me and was really mean to me!"

"Oh, boo hoo," Lamb mock-cried. "Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get _over_ it. You're just a kid, you'll recover."

Shocked at the brand of evil in front of her, Mandy tried a different tactic. Living with her parents for six years had, at least, taught her a few things.

"So Derek likes playing with Barbie dolls? 'Cause he wanted mine a whole lot..."

"Who the fuck are you?" Lamb spit out angrily, glaring at Mandy. Narrowing his eyes for a second, he brought his hand up to his chin. "You know, you remind me of someone. It must be someone annoying. Are you done yet, little girl?"

Mandy rolled her eyes. "You're a meanie, too. You should be nicer to me. My Mommy could beat you up."

"Oh, really?" Lamb laughed heartily. "And not your dad? Is there a little problem with being manly down at the ol' homestead?"

Mandy thought intently for a moment. "No, my Mom would beat you up. But one time when we watched the news, it said that someone got hurt, and Daddy said if anyone ever did anything to me that he'd make them go away for a long, long time."

"Oh, what, your big bad daddy'll tell me to go away? I'm so scared."

Mandy shrugged, her eyes wide. "He told Mommy that they'd never find the body."

Lamb paled slightly at this statement, then shook his head quickly. "Yeah. Sure. Like your dad could take _me_? Feast your eyes on this kid, because I'm the ultimate specimen. Did you know that I used to be the sheriff?"

"So?" Mandy stomped her foot on the ground angrily. "My Grandpa used to be the sheriff, and he was the bestest sheriff _ever_. Better than you, you big dork!"

Lamb frowned for a moment. "That's not possible, kid. What, you're lying to me now?" Running a hand through his hair, he shrugged his shoulders. "Then again, why do I care? You're like, three years old. Your opinion doesn't count."

"I'm _SIX_," Mandy corrected, "and my opinion counts lots! And my Daddy could take you the most, because he's the BIGGEST EVER. Mommy said so. So you should shut up!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Big, huh? If you were a few years older, I'd show you big. But you know what, kid? Your mom sounds like a raging bitch. What's your dad going to do about that?"

Mandy's mouth dropped wide open at the combination of the blatant use of profanity and the direct insult at her mother. Shaking, she got as close as she could to Lamb and kicked him in the shin.

Hard.

"You fucking little rugrat!" Lamb screeched. "Get over here! I'm going to teach you a lesson. And they tell me _my_ kid is the one who starts all of these problems. Who the hell do you think you are?" He reached out to grab Mandy by the wrist at the very instant the door to the principal's office opened. Backing away quickly, Lamb looked up and was greeted with a cold stare by none other than his former arch nemesis.

"Mandy? Go wait in the car." Veronica reached out and pulled her daughter even further away from Lamb. "I'll be right out." Her voice was deceptively calm, and Mandy looked between the two adults fearfully. Scurrying out of the school as fast as she could, Mandy turned her back as Lamb approached Veronica and pasted his smirk back on.

"Veronica Mars. Fancy meeting you here."

"It's Veronica Echolls now."

Lamb cocked an eyebrow. "You married that Echolls punk? I always knew you had something wrong in the head, Mars."

"Echolls. And I'm pretty sure you lose all credibility in judging people's mental states based on the fact that you chose to procreate with _Madison Sinclair_."

"Hey, what can I say? She's good in the sack. You know, if you ever—"

Veronica wasn't in the mood for small talk. "If you ever even _attempt_ to lay a hand on my daughter again...let's just say that they'll never find your body. And that's a promise."

Trying to hide his discomfort, Lamb shifted on the balls of his feet. "Funny, that sounds just like something Mandy said her father said. Oh, are you two that in tune with each other now? Is that it?" Recalling his previous conversation, something dawned on him. "Wait. Echolls? When your little brat said that her father was the biggest..." He paled. "Shit. What else do you two talk about?"

Ignoring him completely, she continued to glare at him. "I mean it, Deputy. You come near her again, and there'll be problems. Understand?"

"Veronica, I wasn't going to—"

"Do you understand me?"

He remained silent for a moment, then jumped back when Veronica took a step towards him.

"Fine, fine. I get it." Taking in her pregnant stomach for the first time, Lamb tilted his head and looked at Veronica. "So, is this a hormone thing? Echolls knocks you up, and you go off on me? Is that why you came in today?"

"I came in today because I got a phone call telling me that a nine year old boy was harassing my six year old daughter. Is that how you taught him to get his thrills?" She shook her head bitterly. "It would seem your son follows the same upstanding moral code that you do."

"You know, you still _are_ a bitch, Veronica. I guess some things never change."

Regarding Lamb warily, Veronica nodded. "For once, I think you're right."

--

"Feeling better? Need me to go over to Lamb's house and knock him on his ass?" Logan clenched his hands into fists as he spoke the name. "I swear to God, he's lucky I wasn't there. If I _ever_ see that bastard again..."

"Logan," Veronica cut him off and stepped into the kitchen. "Spending all of our time going over what an ass Lamb is may be fun, but it's not going to get us anywhere. Can we please just drop it? I'm so _tired_." She sighed. "Besides, we have other problems to deal with now. Mandy's in our room, watching TV. And she won't leave." Veronica rubbed the back of her neck slowly. "Apparently, she's on the lookout for any future monster threats."

Logan quickly stepped behind his wife and began massaging her neck. "You're right. I guess I'll just have to spend all of the time I carved out in my schedule to rant about Lamb mother-henning you instead."

Veronica snorted.

He grinned. "You know, if Mandy's in our room...that means she's not out here."

"This is true."

"And if she's monster hunting, she'll probably be occupied for quite a while."

Veronica leaned her head back as Logan began kneading her neck more intensely. "Also true."

"Methinks we might have time for a quickie."

She arched an eyebrow and tilted her head back so she could look him straight in the eye.

"Did you forget the part where she was in our room, Logan?"

"Noooo." His voice was playful. "But you know what they say. Eye for an eye and all. The guest room is too close to our room and she'd hear us, but since she's in _our_ room, it's only fair..."

"You cannot seriously be proposing sex in our daughter's room."

"I am." Laying a kiss on her neck, Logan gathered Veronica up in his arms and started up the stairs.

"God, you're getting heavy, Veronica."

"Yeah, really _not_ the best way to convince me to deflower Mandy's room."

Logan paused to suckle a particularly sensitive spot on Veronica's neck. "Is this better?"

Her lips crested over his ear as she smacked him on the arm. "So? What are you waiting for? Let's get up there already. Pregnant lady with an itch to scratch, here."

"Yes _Ma'am_."

--

"Thanks again, Dad." Veronica smiled brightly at Keith. "You're the only person that we feel totally at ease leaving Mandy with. Don't get me wrong," she laughed, "we'll take whatever babysitting we can get, but having you here is the best."

Keith looked at his daughter and her husband fondly.

"Anytime you need me, sweetheart. I actually think there's some kind of grandfather clause in my contract that stipulates I have to be on-call for babysitting duty six nights a week." At Logan and Veronica's eye roll, he shrugged. "Get it? Grandfather clau—okay, then." Turning to Veronica he opened his arms to give her a big hug. "Good luck at your appointment. And remember that _as_ the grandfather, I get first dibs on any news. Got it?"

"Dad, you'll be here when we get back. We're going to the doctor's and Lamaze class. Who else are we going to see before we get home?"

Keith pursed his lips. "You never know, Veronica. The baby info market is pretty competitive these days."

Logan laughed and Keith turned to him, smiling, as Veronica shook her head at the two of them.

"That's enough male bonding, boys. Let's get this show on the road."

Following her to the door, Logan turned and gave a small wave. "See you later, Keith. And make sure Mandy sleeps in her _own_ bed tonight, please?"

"Sure thing. I remember Veronica had a similar problem at one point. It involved Martians and flying pizza..." He shook his head. "She got over it, though."

"Thanks, Dad, for bringing the embarrassing childhood stories into play. I think that's _really_ our cue to leave."

"Bye, kids. Take good care of my future grandchild."

Logan shot Keith a thumbs up before opening the front door for Veronica. "As long as you've got the current one under control, I think we can handle it."

"See you later, Dad." Veronica kissed him on the cheek, and she and Logan left the house.

"GRANDPA!" Mandy darted into the room. "Guess what, guess what, guess what?"

"Hmm." Keith paused for a moment in mock-thought. "What?"

"I wanna go to bed _right now_!"

Keith's brow crinkled. "Mandy, it's only five o'clock. And you _never_ want to go to bed."

"I know. But today's special!"

"Mandy," Keith looked at her sternly. "You do know that you can't sleep in your mom and dad's room again, right?"

"I don't _want_ to sleep in there any more!" Mandy exclaimed. "My bed is the bestest _ever_!"

Looking at the six-year old suspiciously, Keith raised an eyebrow.

"And what brought on this sudden change of opinion?"

"Come see!" Dragging Keith by the hand, Mandy led him upstairs to her bedroom. "LOOK, Grandpa! Mommy and Daddy bought me the bestest new sheets _ever_. It's not even my birthday or anything! I just came in here to play, and Daddy was taking all of my sheets away, and he said they were dirty and I couldn't sleep on them. Mommy was in here, too, in her robe, which was weird 'cause it wasn't morning any more. And THEN Daddy said I could pick out brand new sheets! So we went to the store, and I did, and they have the Powerpuff Girls on them, and Blossom is my favoritest, and I'm SO HAPPY!" Inhaling deeply after speaking all in one breath, she looked up at Keith and smiled sunnily. "Isn't it awesome, Grandpa?"

Keith lifted a hand to his forehead. "No. Just...no." Turing back to Mandy, he plastered a grin on his face. "That's great, sweetie. Now why don't we go downstairs and far, far away from your room?" He looked down at his other hand, which was resting on the bed's headboard, and snatched it away quickly. "And try not to...touch anything."

"But I wanna go to bed _now_," Mandy pouted, her lower lip quivering to perfection.

"You can go to bed when your mom and dad get home. How about..." Keith thought fast. "Want to go out for ice cream?"

"YES!"

"More than going to bed?"

"Bed? I don't want to go to bed, Grandpa! I want ICE CREAM! YAY!"

Mandy bolted out of the room, Keith right on her heels.

"Mandy...you don't know where your parents put your _old_ sheets, do you?" He shuddered as he made his way out into the hallway. "Because whatever you do, _don't_ touch them. I mean it." He was met with silence. "Are you even listening to me?"

--

"Mommy! Daddy! Help me! Help!" Mandy ran into their room, her plastic pajama feet skidding on the hardwood floor. "There was a big monster and he scared me and wanted to hurt me! Make him stop!"

Logan reached over to switch on the light as Veronica turned down the covers in the middle of the bed for Mandy. Mandy jumped on the bed and snuggled in next to her mother immediately, clutching at Veronica's nightgown dearly.

"There, there, sweetie. It was just a nightmare. You're safe now." Veronica caressed the golden head in her arms gently. "Don't worry. We'll have Daddy go and check your room to make sure there are no monsters, okay?"

Mandy nodded gratefully, still clinging to Veronica. Logan merely watched them for a few minutes, a content smile gracing his face. Unbeknownst to Veronica and Mandy, he crept towards their side of the bed, and brought his fingers down to wildly tickle his daughter's ribcage.

"Daddy!" Mandy giggled! "Stop!"

Veronica caught the gist and joined in, catching Mandy on the foot. Mandy let out a series of high-pitched giggles as she tried to give as good as she got.

"You guys! That's not fair! There are _two_ of you and only _one_ me!"

"Hmm." Veronica pondered this for a moment. "You're right. Let's get Daddy!"

Launching a full scale tickle attack, Veronica scooted over in the bed and pulled Logan down beside her, landing a few choice tickles. Mandy rolled onto his stomach and began working on the insides of his elbows.

"Okay, okay, I give up!" Logan laughed, out of breath but joyous. "You two win the tickle war. Happy?"

Veronica and Mandy exchanged a devious look.

"Very," they answered simultaneously.

Logan spooned Veronica next to him as Mandy moved closer to her mother, curling her body into Veronica's as much as space allowed. Mandy's eyelids quickly drooped closed, and she was on the verge of sleep when a sharp movement jarred her awake.

"What was that?" She whispered to Veronica.

"What was what, honey?" Veronica asked tiredly.

"I felt something weird." Mandy lifted the bedspread and peered under it, seeing nothing but her mother's body. Suddenly, she felt it again. Wrenching her hand from where it rested on her mother's enlarged stomach, Mandy's eyes grew wide.

"MOMMY! THERE'S A MONSTER IN YOUR TUMMY!"

Leaping out of the bed, she continued to stare at her hand. Mandy looked to Logan, petrified, and the tears started falling.

"Daddy, you have to fix it! There's a monster in Mommy, and it's mean, and I felt it, and it's going to eat her! That's why she's been so sick all the time! WHY?" She took in a huge breath and continued bawling. "How did it get there? Did someone put it there? Is it from the bed monster?"

Veronica managed a small smile as Logan took their trembling daughter in his arms.

"Actually, Daddy put it in there. Trust me on that one."

"DADDY?" Mandy quickly pushed away from Logan and rolled back onto the bed. "Daddy would never do something like that? Would you, Daddy?" She stared at Logan, horrified. "Why would you do that to Mommy? Why?"

Logan groaned and raked a hand through his hair.

"Mandy, honey? There's something that your mother and I need to tell you. We've been trying to figure out how for a while, but...it's time that you knew."

Mandy bit her lip nervously, her brown eyes looking haunted. "You promised, Daddy! You promised that you wouldn't leave!"

Logan recovered quickly. "No, no, it's not that, Mandy. But it _is_ the reason things have been so different around here lately. This is a big grown-up thing that we're going to tell you. Are you ready?"

Mandy nodded slowly.

Veronica pulled her daughter into her lap, and Logan's hand reached over to clamp protectively over Mandy's back. Veronica shared a soft smile with Logan as his other hand moved to take one of hers. Placing a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead, Veronica glowed as she relayed the news.

"You're going to have a little brother, Mandy."


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: When I Was A Child (4/4)  
**Author**: Sarah :)  
**Pairing/Characters**: Logan/Veronica, Dick, Keith, Weevil  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Through 2x22, _Not Pictured_, just to be safe, but nothing specific. This is futurefic!  
**Word Count**: 5,217  
**Summary**: Nothing stays the same forever. Logan and Veronica's daughter finds out just how true this is.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Duh.  
**Thanks**: First of all, to **truemyth** for somehow helping me set up a WIP, even though I've never, ever even considered writing one, and for all of the handholding. It's much appreicated, Grace :). To **truemyth** and **kantayra**, for pretty much the best series of AIM chats EVER on brainstorming ideas for poor little innocent Mandy. They were instrumental in developing properly dirty story lines, as I can't even PRETEND to keep up with them :). Also, thank you to **herowlness** for for all of her HELP AND LOVE, and **truemyth** for betaing this! And both of you for listening to me go on and on and on about it ad nauseam You WIN!  
**Final notes**: Written for the **loveathons** epic challenge. Companion piece to **Trial by Furry**, so it might help if you read that first :). I've actually had this written for ages, and just haven't had a chance to post, since other fandom endeavors have been keeping me pretty busy. Thank you to everyone who REMINDED me about posting this, though (heh), and everyone who stuck with me throughout this thing. It was my first WIP ever, and quite an adventure, and I couldn't have done it without you :). This has a much different tone from the previous parts, because it's the finale, and...it just worked out this way. I mean, READ THE SUMMARY. That's how it was supposed to go ;).

_When I became a man, I put away childish things.  
I Cor. xiii. 11. _

"All done?" Veronica walked into the room, her hands unconsciously stroking the graceful curve of her happily-expanding middle. Logan looked up at her with a grin and nodded.

"All done. He'd better not complain, either, because it took me forever to get that thing together."

Veronica laughed and ran her hand along the top of the crib. "I don't know. He is going to be _your_ son … "

"Hey!" Logan protested, standing up and wrapping an arm around his wife. "I don't complain. Ever. When have I ever complained?"

"Does complaining about not complaining count as complaining?"

Logan screwed up his face in concentration. "See, now you're just trying to trick me. You always play dirty, Veronica."

Veronica shrugged. "Only because I know you _appreciate_ it." Turning around so she could look him in the eye, she stuck her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. "Logan?"

Groaning, Logan buried his face in her shoulder. "Yes, schnookums?"

"I'm hungry."

He shook his head, which still rested on Veronica's shoulder. "Do you want me to make you something?"

"Well … " Veronica trailed off.

"What?"

"We don't _have_ anything, and I was wondering if you could go to the store." She ran her hand gently down his back. "Pleeeease, Logan?"

"Veronica." Logan sighed. "This is the third time this week. If I see you eat pickles and peanut butter together one more time, I think I'm going to throw up."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Hey. How'd you know what I wanted?"

"Please. You're so predictable. And I thought we were staying in tonight. Watch some movies, spend some time together. Now I have to go out?" Even as he grumbled, Logan was already reaching for his car keys.

"I'll even walk you downstairs." Veronica smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. Husband of the year, right here," he groused good-naturedly.

As the two of them entered the living room, they were greeted by the sight of their daughter, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Mandy? What is it, sweetie?" Veronica bent down to console her daughter as best as she could in her pregnant state.

"It's not fair!" Mandy cried, wrestling herself out of Veronica's arms. "You love him more than me!"

"What?" Veronica looked bewildered. "Do you mean Daddy? You know I don't love him more than – "

"The _baby_," Mandy spat out angrily. "He's not even here yet, and you forgot all about me!"

"Mandy, sweetheart, why would you say that?" Logan managed to catch his daughter before she stomped out of the room, and he hefted her up onto his shoulders.

"Look!" The little girl pouted, pointing across the living room.

In the center of the room sat an old baby swing and a stroller, items that had recently been pulled out of storage in anticipation of the newest addition to the Echolls family.

"Okay … " Logan said, glancing at the items. "I'm looking."

"Those are _mine_," Mandy whimpered. "And you're going to give them to him! It's not fair!"

"But, honey, you're too big for those now. You can't use them any more," Veronica moved to where Logan stood and wrapped her hand around Mandy's.

"Uh-uh! I am _not_ too big! Put me down, Daddy!" Wriggling from Logan's arms, Mandy darted across the room and tried to squeeze herself into the stroller. "See? I can fit!"

"Oh, Mandy." Veronica walked over and gently lifted her daughter out of the stroller. "You're such a big girl now. Your brother is going to want to grow up to be just like you. Don't you want to share with him?"

Mandy's eyes grew wide. "Weeeell … "

"Remember how we told you that being a big sister is a really important job," Logan broke in. "He's going to need you to look out for him."

"Will he play games with me when you two are busy?" Mandy looked hopeful.

"Of course he will! Once he's a little older, of course." Veronica assured her.

"Can I help read him stories at night and tuck him in?" She began bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, becoming increasingly excited at the idea.

Logan smiled widely. "Absolutely. So don't you think it'd be nice to let him use your _baby_ things?"

Mandy looked at the swing disdainfully. "I don't need that stuff. I'm a _big_ girl now," she chirped, echoing Veronica's words.

"That you are. What do you say you put your shoes on and we'll go on a little adventure?" Logan winked at Veronica.

"Yay!" Mandy shrieked and clapped her hands, then scrambled around in search of suitable footwear. "Where are we going?"

"Mommy wants a few things from the store. As usual."

"Ewwww. Not more pickles!" Mandy scrunched her face in disgust. "That's yucky, Mommy."

Veronica laughed and ruffled her daughter's hair. "So your father told me. There might be some candy in it for you, too, though."

"Yes!" The little girl heartily pumped her fist up and down.

Veronica looked on, horrified.

"We are _not_ calling Dick the next time we need a babysitter. Are we clear on that?"

--

"Are you sure you understand?" Logan looked at Mandy seriously. "This is really important, sweetie."

"I know, Daddy." She squirmed around in his lap and curled her arms around his neck, her voice tearful. "Don't go, Daddy. Please."

Logan sighed. "I wish I didn't have to, Mandy. You know how much I hate leaving you and your mother, especially now, with the baby so close to being here … But I have to. I'll make it as fast as I can."

"Promise?" She sniffled into his neck.

"Promise. If everything goes well, I might even be back _tomorrow_. Now," he tweaked his daughter's nose. "Tell me what I just told you."

"Okay!" Mandy agreed easily, pointing to the piece of paper in Logan's hand. "This is a list of 'portant phone numbers."

"Right," Logan prodded. "For Grandpa, and Wallace, and Dick, and all of our friends. And what are you supposed to do with it?"

"If something bad happens," Mandy clutched Logan's hand tightly, "or Mommy needs help with something, I should call someone right away."

"Very good, sweetie. Remember, it never hurts to be prepared."

Mandy nodded sagely, as if she understood exactly what Logan was saying.

--

"Mommy?" Mandy's voice was small. "What's wrong?"

Veronica sat on the couch, slumped forward, tears on her face.

"Nothing, honey, really. I just have a little stomachache, is all." She shot a pained smile at her daughter.

"I wish Daddy was here. He could make you feel better." Mandy climbed up beside Veronica and nestled her head in her lap. "Business trips are stupid."

"I'd have to agree with you on th – Oh, God." Veronica's eyes squeezed shut as a wave of pain tore through her body. "I think I'm having contractions."

"What's that?"

"Never mind. Give me a few minutes, and I'll make you some supper, okay?"

"Do you need to go to the doctor, Mommy? He scares me, too, but usually I feel better after. Maybe he can fix you!"

Veronica laughed sharply. "Honey, I don't think I could drive myself there right now, even if I wanted to. I almost thought about it. Why don't you go and play until the food's ready?"

Mandy nodded, concerned as more tears slipped from Veronica's eyes. Noticing that her mother's breathing was becoming more labored, and that something was obviously very, very wrong, she jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen.

"Daddy said Grandpa was the first one," she said to herself, clumsily punching numbers into the phone, and doing her best to copy what was written on the paper Logan had left. When she held the receiver to her ear and was greeted with nothing but an empty ring, she gasped. She attempted to dial what she _thought_ was her father's cell phone, and once again, got no response. Glancing at the list again, she pressed another series of buttons.

"Hello?"

"My mommy needs help!" She blurted out breathlessly. "I think she's hurt! Bad!"

"Who is this?" The male voice on the other end of the line questioned.

"Mandy," she said haltingly. "I don't know what to do!"

"Mandy? Mandy Echolls?"

"Yes," she answered, tears threatening to overtake her voice.

"Do you know who this is?"

"Umm … " Mandy blinked away her tears and tried to focus on the list in front of her. "Daddy said to call if there was an 'mergency, and there's a 'mergency!"

"Okay, look. I'm Eli. Remember me? You came to my house and played with my daughter Carolina before?"

"I 'member!" Mandy shouted excitedly.

"Mandy, you just go and find your mom and stay with her. I'll be right there. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," she said, barely choking out the words. "I'm scared. Please come fast!"

"I'm on my way."

--

"One more step, okay, good." Weevil gently helped Veronica up the stairs. "Now you need to rest. Don't fight me on this one, V."

Walking into her room, Veronica shook her head and sat on the bed. "A false alarm. I'm really sorry, Weevil. You and Carolina came all the way out here for nothing, and wasted your whole night, and – "

"Veronica, are you fucking kidding me?" Weevil sat down next to her and placed a comforting arm around her back. "Stop right there. What, you were going to sit here in pain all night? You scared the crap out of Mandy. You scared the crap out of _me_. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you would have scared the crap out of Logan if he were here."

"But I should have realized it. I mean, I've been through this before."

"There's a reason it's called _false_ labor." Weevil shook his head and smiled. "Did I ever tell you that Carmen had four false alarms before Letty was born?"

"Four?" Veronica's eyes widened in surprise. "She must be a super hero."

"Well, yeah. She married me, didn't she?"

She lightly smacked him on the arm. "I was there, remember?" Leaning against Weevil, Veronica closed her eyes for a moment. "Still, I'm sorry. I can't believe Mandy called you. I would've been fine."

Weevil raised an eyebrow. "Veronica, you were huddled on the couch crying. Your six year old daughter found you. How many other kids would have kept it together like she did?"

Veronica smiled. "She's so smart. She remembered Logan's emergency list and everything."

"I'm still not sure how she got me," Weevil pondered. "I mean, after your dad, and Wallace, and Mac, and whoever else, I had to have been pretty far down the list. Think she chose at random? Eenie meenie?"

"Well, however she decided, I think she made a good choice."

He smiled and laid a light kiss on Veronica's forehead. "Okay, you need to get in bed."

"But Mandy – "

"I've got her. Just rest."

Veronica nodded. "Thanks, Weevil. For everything."

"Veronica, stop. That's what friends _do_."

--

"Hi, Mr. 'Evil!" Mandy bounced up and down on the couch when he descended the stairs. "How's Mommy? Did the hospital make her all better?"

Weevil bit back a grin at the girl's greeting. "Your mom's fine. The baby thought he was coming early, but he decided not to."

"Oh." Confusion etched itself across Mandy's face. "That's mean, hurting Mommy like that. Stupid baby."

"Aww, Mandy, he can't help it. It just happens sometimes." Glancing around the living room, he frowned. "Where's Carolina?"

"She's sleeeeeeping," Mandy offered. "As soon as you and Mommy got home, she said she was really tired, so I said she could go in my room and sleep, 'cause I'm not tired at _all_."

"That's really nice of you, Mandy."

"I know!" She clapped excitedly. "But we had lots of fun and played lots of games when you and Mommy were gone, and I really like when Carolina babysits me!"

Weevil smiled and settled on the couch, with Mandy following a minute later.

"What'd you two play?"

"Powerpuff Girls! It's the bestest. I was Blossom, 'cause I love her lots."

"Blossom?" Weevil screwed up his face in disgust. "Come on, Mandy. You've gotta have better taste then that."

Mandy frowned. "Now you sound like Daddy. He says Blossom is a loser. And that pink is for sissies, and green is way cooler."

"Well, yeah. Now Buttercup. _There's_ a Powerpuff Girl."

"She's Daddy's favorite, too. He won't play with me unless I let him be her." Weevil began to snicker as Mandy continued talking. "She scares me, though." Mandy grasped Weevil's arm and burrowed into his side. "She likes to fight lots, and is mean. Daddy says that makes her fie … fie … feisty, and that tiny girls who are like that turn him on. What's that mean, Mr. 'Evil? Does Daddy get turned on and off, like the lights?"

Weevil laughed heartily. "No, sweetie. I think that means he has a thing for Buttercup because she reminds him of your mother. She's my favorite too, you know."

"Really?" Mandy gasped, surprised. "That's so weird! Did you know that – "

"I'm here!" Logan's voice broke in, as he ran into the room frantically. "I got your message, Weevil. What – is she – "

"She's fine, Echolls. Calm down. Let's go talk in there." He motioned with his head towards the kitchen. "I think someone needs to go and put their pajamas on anyway, because it's _way_ past their bedtime."

Mandy blinked adorably, and looked around the room. "Daddy has to put his pajamas on? Why are they in the kitchen?"

Weevil leaned against the door jamb, eyebrows raised.

"Me? But I'm a big girl! I don't need a bed time!" Mandy exclaimed.

Logan laughed and swung her up into his arms. "Mandy."

"Fine," the little girl pouted. Peppering a series of small kisses all over Logan's face, she hugged him tightly. "I missed you lots, Daddy. Don't go away again. _Please_?"

"I missed you too, sweetheart," Logan told her, gently setting her on the stairs. "Now, when I come up there in a few minutes, you'd better be ready for bed. I'm timing. One. Two. Three."

Giggling, Mandy dashed up the stairs.

"Weevil." Logan's eyes darkened, his cheerful demeanor evaporating the moment Mandy was out of the room.

"She's fine, Logan. Like I said in the message, it was just a false alarm. The doctor told me to make sure she got some rest, and that's what she's doing."

Logan ran a trembling hand through his hair. "I should have been here. What kind of guy leaves their eight and a half months pregnant wife to go on a business trip?" He sat down heavily at the kitchen table. "I'm such an idiot."

"Did you miss what I just said? The freak-out isn't necessary. You being here wouldn't have changed things." Weevil paused for a moment, thinking. "There is something I don't get, though."

"Yeah?" Logan looked up at him, tired.

"I came over here after Mandy called me. V was pretty bad and, she didn't know what to do."

"Oh, God," Logan mumbled.

"Anyway, she said that you left her my number."

"I left her a bunch of numbers, Weevil."

"Yeah, but … " Weevil pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "After _Grandpa_ and _L's cell phone_, it says _Weevil_. You want to explain that one to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cut the crap, Logan. It should be Wallace, or, hell, even Dick on there. You don't particularly like me, I don't particularly like you … it just strikes me as a little strange." Weevil pulled a chair out and seated himself next to Logan.

Regarding the other man warily, Logan shrugged. "You realize that when I made that list, I didn't actually think we'd ever need it."

"But you were worried enough to make it in the first place, and I _know_ how you are about Veronica and Mandy, man. There's no way you just randomly shoved some names on here and I ended up at the top."

"Look, I knew that if something happened, that if either of them needed help, and Keith or I couldn't be here … " Logan trailed off quietly. "That you would. Right away, no questions asked, you'd do whatever was needed. Even if you hate me, I know how much you love Veronica, and I knew you wouldn't hesitate. Can we drop this now?"

Weevil nodded slowly. "You're right. As soon as she called, I brought the kids to the neighbors' house and rushed over. I couldn't _breathe_. Mandy was so scared, and I thought the worst – " He paused, looking down at the table. "And, yeah, I came for Veronica, but I know … if it things were reversed, you would've done the same for me. For my family."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "You don't know that."

Weevil stood up and slapped Logan heartily on the back. "Sure I do. You can pretend all you want, but when it comes down to it, I know you. We haven't hated each other for a long time, Echolls, and I get you better than you think."

The appearance of a sleepy thirteen year old saved Logan from responding.

"Daddy?" Carolina yawned.

"Ready to go home?" Weevil asked, guiding his daughter to the door.

"Yeah. 'M tired."

"Weevil?" Logan spoke just before the other man exited the house. "Thanks. And if you ever need anything … " He offered a lopsided smile. "Rumor has it that we're not nemeses any more, so – I've got your back."

--

"Hey, Mrs. Wayne." Dick swaggered into the classroom and winked at the fifty year old woman. "How you doin'?"

"Mr. Casablancas." The teacher frowned, setting a pair of knitting needles on her desk. "Tina went home with her mother today."

"Oh, yeah, I know. I'm not here for her. I'm here for this one." He jerked his thumb towards the lone child left in the room.

"Dick!" A shrill voice sounded from the back of the empty classroom, and Mandy barreled into him. "Mommy and Daddy forgot me! Why didn't they come to get me?" Her bottom lip trembled.

"I've tried calling them at home, and on both of their cell phones, and I can't reach them," Mrs. Wayne offered helpfully.

"Well, yeah. That's why I'm here." Dick grinned charmingly at the woman.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Logan called me from the hospital. Veronica went into labor, and he couldn't get in touch with Mandy's grandfather, so he asked me to come and pick her up."

"Oh, I see. I'm afraid I can only release her into the custody of her parents or legal guardians, or those people listed on the emergency contact list Mr. and Mrs. Echolls filled out. Surely you understand that, being a father yourself, Mr. Casablancas."

"I'm on the list," Dick said distractedly, swinging Mandy up into the air.

"Can we go and see Mommy and Daddy? How's Mommy? Do I have a brother? Dickdickdickdickdick!" Mandy prodded. "Let's go!"

"I need to check to make sure your parents said it's okay for you to leave with Mr. Casablancas," Mrs. Wayne said, rummaging through a filing cabinet and rifling through a sheaf of papers before pulling one out.

"Of _course_ they said it's okay! Dick is the bestest! My mommy and daddy love Dick! Well," Mandy thought for a moment. "Daddy loves Dick lots. Mommy just says Dick is trouble, and that she doesn't understand why Daddy likes Dick so much. She said there was too much Dick in our house, and that if Daddy wanted more, he'd have to go somewhere else, 'cause he had more than enough Dick. Why would she say that?"

Mrs. Wayne sputtered as she read over the form. Dick broke out into raucous laughter.

"What else do your parents say about Dick?" He prodded.

"Umm," Mandy closed her eyes. "Mommy said that Dick was a bad influence, and he was really diff … diffi … hard. And that Dick should learn how to grow up!" Eyes growing impossibly large, Mandy wriggled in Dick's arms and looked up at him. "Why doesn't Mommy like Dick?"

"Dude. Did you hear that?" Dick crowed gleefully. "Sweetest thing ever. Come on, lay some more on me."

"Well," Mandy began, halting as she saw the stricken look on her teacher's face. "I … I don't think I should say any more." She frowned. "I think I said something _bad_."

Mrs. Wayne looked up, startled, then offered Mandy a small smile and a reassuring nod.

"Whatever. Can we speed this up? I don't want to miss my shows."

Mrs. Wayne pinched the bridge of her nose sharply, mumbling to herself. "It looks like everything is in order, Mr. Casablancas. All you need to do is go to the office and sign a release form, and you and Mandy are free to go."

"Sure thing. Be right back, little lady." Dick set Mandy on the ground and saluted Mrs. Wayne on his way out.

"Mandy," Mrs. Wayne began uncertainly. "Since your mother is having a baby, I was just wondering if – have your parents talked to you about it? Not about the birds and the bees, necessarily, just … "

"Birds and bees!" Mandy chimed in. "I know _all_ about that!"

"What? You do?" The teacher's eyes widened in surprise. "Well, that explains a lot."

"Yep!" Mandy nodded enthusiastically. "Bees are really mean and hurt you. Birdies sing pretty songs and like to fly around." Running around in a small circle, flapping her arms in an imitation of wings, Mandy let out a few adorable _tweets_ before turning back to the elderly woman. "I have a book all about birdies that my Mommy reads to me before I go to bed."

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Wayne sighed. "Have you had the talk about where babies come – "

"Okay, Mandy, let's blow this popsicle stand! Your grandpa just called me and said he'd meet us at your house."

"Grandpa, yay!" Mandy squealed, grabbing her backpack and Dick's hand. "Bye, Mrs. Wayne!"

"Good bye, Mandy," the teacher replied. "Be … good, okay?"

--

"Mandy? Dick?" Keith walked into the house, nodding once he eyed the other man. "Have you heard anything else from Logan? I was on a case when he called, so I got here as fast as I could."

Dick gave him a thumbs-up. "He just called a minute ago, and said we should head to the hospital. The doctors think Veronica's going to pop any minute."

"Mommy's going to pop?" Mandy asked worriedly. "Like a balloon? Is she going to fly around the room and make a silly noise? I _hate_ when my balloons pop!"

Rolling his eyes in Dick's general direction, Keith bent down to placate Mandy. "Your mommy's going to be fine. Are you ready to go and see her?"

"Yay!" Mandy shouted. "I call shotgun!" As she ran out to the car, Dick laughed, earning him another glare from Keith.

"What? She knows the rules. And, dude, I'm driving, so I hope you like the back."

--

A visibly twitchy and slightly tearstained Keith tried once more to get his granddaughter to sit still. "I know it's been a long time, sweetheart, but the doctors said we could go in soon. Then you'll get to meet your brother."

"Okay, folks. You only have a few minutes, because she needs to rest."

Keith took Mandy by the hand and walked down the long hospital corridor, Dick trailing a step behind him.

Upon entering the room, Mandy spied a crying Logan and Veronica, prompting her own tears. "What's wrong, Daddy? Why are you and Mommy crying?" She ran to her father's side, not noticing that Keith's eyes had begun to water, or that even Dick was looking suspiciously misty.

"I just want to thank you, Veronica," Dick spoke quickly. "For allowing all of us to witness this beautiful moment. It really means a lot to me."

Four heads swiveled to face Dick, mouths agape.

"Yeah. If I hadn't been here today, I wouldn't have gotten the digits of that totally hot nurse we talked to. Looks like I won't be babysitting tonight … " He waited for a beat. " … because I have a date! Score!"

Rolling his eyes and trying to ignore his best friend, Logan carefully knelt down, bringing a squirming baby to Mandy's eye-level. "Mandy? Meet your brother."

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at the wrapped bundle before her. "Can I touch him?" She asked in a small voice.

Logan nodded. "Just be careful."

Slowly, Mandy placed a finger gently on the baby's outstretched palm. To her delight, her brother's small hand wrapped around her tightly. She looked to her father in awe.

"He likes me, Daddy!"

Logan smiled at her. "Of course he does, honey. He loves you."

"I _LOVE_ him more! I'm going to protect him, and teach him stuff, and play with him, and show him how to get rid of the bad bed monsters, and where you keep the best toys, and how to eat whipped cream and chocolate sauce without making a mess, and … " The baby gurgled and Mandy abruptly stopped her train of thought. "He's talking to me!"

Logan chuckled. Nervously, he looked at his daughter. "Mandy? That stuff about the bed monster and the whipped cream … you don't tell people about that, right?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"We'll have a talk later, okay?" The baby wiggled around in Logan's arms, blinking heavy-lidded eyes. "Mommy needs to feed him so he can take a nap."

Mandy squealed. "Daddy, he's the bestest ever! He's even better than my dolly! I want another baby!"

He laughed. "Well, sweetie, give Mommy a little time to recover at least." He stood and gingerly placed his son in Veronica's arms. Laying a soft kiss on her head, he bent down and picked Mandy up, and they stood alongside the hospital bed. Twisting in his arms, Mandy turned to look at her father.

"Daddy? Where do babies come from?"

--

"Can I have a cookie, Mommy?" Pleeeeeease?" Mandy begged.

Veronica sighed, powerless to resist the wiles of her daughter. "Fine. Just one." As Mandy scampered off to the kitchen, Veronica set the baby carrier down and set about unbuckling her son.

Mandy approached them quietly from behind, one cookie in her mouth, another in her outstretched hand.

"Mandy! What did I just tell you?"

"I only took one for me," Mandy replied, defensive. "The other one is for Sammy."

Veronica fought back the smile that threatened to overtake her face. "Honey, you know Sammy can't eat cookies yet."

"Oops. I forgot!" Not looking the slightest bit remorseful, Mandy shoved the other cookie in her mouth.

"What am I going to do with you, you little cookie monster?" Veronica bent down and began tickling Mandy, despite the little girl's protests.

"And that's my cue." Logan walked in and stood behind Veronica, wrapping an arm around her waist, effectively ending Mandy's tickle torture. "How was your appointment?"

"I'm fine, Sammy's fine." She smiled brightly. "Everything is fine. And by everything, I mean … _everything_." Veronica arched her back against Logan, thrusting against his hips.

"So you're sure? We can … " Logan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yep." Veronica smiled. "I'm cleared and ready to go. Except that we can't."

"What?" Logan looked bewildered. "Mandy, why don't you go and watch some TV, okay?"

" 'Kay!" She skipped off happily.

"Logan, the crib is in our room, and there's no way we're getting busy with the baby right there. Perv."

"Veronica, it's been _forever_," he whined. "Please. I miss you." His lips wandered to the back of her neck, and Veronica shuddered at the contact.

"Guest room?" He suggested.

Veronica thought for a moment. "Fine. Let me just put him to bed. But we have to be quick." Twisting around in his arms and kissing him soundly, Veronica lifted the baby from the carrier and began cooing at him.

As she went upstairs, Logan moved into the living room.

"Hey, Mandy?"

"What, Daddy?"

"Your mother and I have some … business to take care of upstairs. Will you be okay down here by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Daddy," Mandy admonished. "I'm _six_. Duh."

"Silly me. I should have known better." He winked at her. "I'll come down and get you for bed in a little bit, sweetie."

A few minutes later, Mandy heard the familiar sound of a door slamming, and then the low squeaking and groaning noises that she hadn't heard for quite a while. Picking up her stuffed unicorn, she carefully made her way up the stairs until she reached her parents' room.

"Hi, Sammy," she whispered, walking up to the crib. "Are you awake?"

A high-pitched gurgling noise answered her question.

"Want to play? I would have brought the doggy, but Daddy says Gasm isn't allowed in here when you're here. Sorry! But when you get bigger, you can play with him. He's the bestest!"

She peeked in, and noticed that her brother was fussing around. He began to whimper, and she stuck her hand through the bars and began wiggling her fingers around to distract him.

"Please don't cry. Mommy and Daddy are busy now. Sometimes Mommies and Daddies need to … talk about things. Just the two of them," she advised, mimicking the words she had heard from Veronica in the past. "I'll play with you. You can even be Horny."

Feeling around on the sides of the crib for the release, she gingerly lowered the gate and climbed into the crib. "You're too little to do that, but once you're bigger, I'll show you how to get out. It's really fun." Regarding the baby for a moment, she turned and struggled to slide and lock the bars back in place. "It would be really bad if you fell out and got hurt, though, so I have to put it back."

Sitting next to her brother, Mandy ran her fingers through the little tufts of brown hair on his head. "We can talk if you don't want to play right now. I have _lots_ of stuff to teach you."

Another series of burbles, and Mandy giggled.

"I love you too, Sammy. Lots and lots. You're my favoritest little brother _ever_." She pressed the ears of her stuffed unicorn to its head before leaning down and whispering near her brother's ear. "Don't tell him, but I even like you better than Horny."

Sammy laughed and clapped his hands, and Mandy smiled. Setting the stuffed toy down, she curled up next to her brother. "We're gonna have so much fun, Sammy."

--

Exactly twelve minutes and forty-two seconds later, a disheveled Logan and Veronica stumbled across the hall and into their bedroom.

"I hope he's sleeping," Logan whispered. "Because I'm strangely worn out right now, and I could use and hour or two before being woken up."

Veronica moved to the crib and gasped, and she quickly clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound.

"Logan? Come here. Now. You _have_ to see this."

"What?"

Logan came up behind her, and peered down.

In the crib, Mandy and Sammy were cuddled together, deep in sleep, her arms around her brother, and Sammy's head resting on the plush unicorn.

"I don't know what I did to get this lucky," Logan breathed, "but I'm pretty sure you're the one to thank for it. God, Veronica." He rested his head on Veronica's shoulder as the two continued to stand there silently, watching their children dream.

--End--


End file.
